I’ve got a confession to make: I’m a complete idiot when it comes to all things technological.
One of my kids had to make a PowerPoint presentation for a school project and I couldn’t help him; I just recently learned how to back up files on my computer; I constantly lose photos I’ve uploaded; I’m routinely unable to print Excel spreadsheets; and I’m not 100% clear on the purpose of, or how to access, the “Message” button on my digital cable box. Perhaps most embarrassing of all is that I have not fully understood how to use the last seven cell phones that I’ve owned.
There. I’ve said it. I’m a hi-tech loser.
I know that there are some people who pretend to not understand their telephones, but they’re lying. They text and send and receive voice messages without missing a beat. I’m not one of those people. I’ve never even figured out how to retrieve voice messages that people have left for me and I’ve certainly not attempted to text anyone. No way could that possibly end well.
My cell phone knowledge is so limited that I don’t even know how to use the camera function. And what on earth are all of those little icons and figures and doo-dads at the top of the phone’s screen? Sorry, but no matter how hard I try, I simply can’t read Techno-toon.
My cell phone ineptitude is so bad that I cringe when people ask for my cell phone number. The phone has always been so intimidating to me that it’s easier to not use it at all. In fact, I forget to charge it half the time. For this reason, I tell people to try my home number first. It beats having to explain exactly how stupid I am when it comes to using a cell phone.
There’s a commercial on TV for a phone called a Jitterbug. It has a huge, easy-to-read number pad that you can probably see from Mars. There’s no camera in it, no tip calculator, no special ring tones, and no link to the internet. Texting? Fuggedaboutit! The Jitterbug is as basic as a phone can be.
While this particular phone is no doubt marketed to people much older than I, its simplicity feels like cell phone nirvana to me. With it, I wouldn’t have to feel bad about being unable to figure out my phone’s many functions because this one only has two of them: sending and receiving phone calls.
One day, while watching TV, a new phone seduced me away from my Jitterbug lust. It was the Apple iPhone, and on the commercial, it was shown with a level installed in it. Yes, an actual level with the little movable ball inside the yellow liquid between two vertical lines. I swear to you, I heard angels. I’m not a carpenter, but suddenly I had a burning desire to check the plumb-ness of everything in my house. I needed this phone.
I started dropping hints to my husband Dan about how handy it would be to have an iPhone. Hints or not, we didn’t have the money to buy one outright and our cell phone contract wasn’t yet eligible for an upgrade. Besides, I’m sure that Dan was probably dismissing my iPhone desire as yet another cell phone that I wouldn’t be able to figure out.
Time passed and our phone contract matured. My cell phone had been wonky for awhile, and when my iPod finally bit the dust, it made sense to replace it with the iPhone.
I have to admit that even though I’d wanted one for a long time, I had no idea how to use the iPhone. I’d never even held one in person before. I know people who own them, but no one has actually shown me how it works. For all I knew, it could require having an advanced degree simply to retrieve voice mail.
I’ve now had my phone for a week and I’m certain that I’ll not be returning it. Nothing has done more for improving my self-esteem and restoring that youthful feeling than purchasing an iPhone. I’m willing to bet that it’s even better than Botox with a Wonderbra and a side of Spanx.
While I waited for Dan to finish the contract paperwork in the store, I sent my first text message. Amazing! As he drove us home, I successfully set the GPS, entered dates onto the calendar, updated some contact information, and used the calculator. Once home, I listened to the free music selection of the week on iTunes, and downloaded several free Apps, including my beloved level application.
By the end of the first night of iPhone ownership, I felt comfortable with just about every function. No instruction manual required. The iPhone is so intuitive that even a 40-something, technologically-challenged dimwit like me can figure it out without having to ask a teenager for help.
Apple says there’s an App for practically everything. They’re most likely exaggerating. Still, I’m going to check if there’s an App for mastering unruly Windows programs or deciphering mysterious cable boxes. You never know. After all, it has a level.
Comments
Have fun with your iPhone!
You say an Iphone will cure these problems???
I will admit I thought the "level" was a very cool app.
rethi,at
RATED
Buffy, if you're interested in learning how to make and receive phone calls with your iPod Touch, let me know. There are apps for that.
Although, seriously, it’s a shame that Apple has been successfully shut out of much of the business market by Microsoft because, as you point out, the design aspect of most Apple hardware (and certain software) is so user-friendly and cool. For various reasons, Microsoft’s stranglehold on business e-mail/server systems and their links to Blackberrys, etc. keeps Apple desktops, laptops and iPhones off the table for most businesses. So I have to use Windows machines @work along w/a Blackberry. Jeeze.
Enjoy it! It's amazing how fun and easy it really is to use.
p.s. I still use a Walkman. But many of my neighbors don't even have computers, so around here I am still what passes for hip.
Ann - Nah, you don't need the medical alert necklace just yet. Those scooters look mighty appealing at times, though.
Mary - Exactly! Finally a user-friendly phone. One of these days, I want to step into the Mac world, too. I have a feeling I won't look back.
Jeanette - Thanks! I feel hipper with the iPhone. :)
m.a.h - I pinky-swear promise that you will feel like a tech guru while using this phone.
Owl - Thanks! Now I can put my phone intimidation days behind me.
Buffy - 4 Macs? I know who to ask for advice when I take the plunge one of these days. That stinks about the iPhone only being available through AT&T. I never understood the reasoning for that.
JK - Thanks! I'll report back on the house-leveling.
Jen - Your turn will come. At least Apple is trying to make them more affordable.
Lea - Really? It does more things than those that are apparent? I don't live near an Apple store but Julie Delio recommended a book that I think I'll try.
Roger - I'm inclined to blame AT&T. Dropped calls used to happen with my old P.O.S. Sony Erickson phone. So far, the sound quality of the iPhone is much better than any phone I've had previously.
BBE - Don't be sad; for all we know, Steve Blevins might still be listening to music on 8-tracks.
Willie - You crack me up!
Travis - Thanks for publicly admitting that you're as inept as I am when it comes to cell phones. Thanks, too, for the Reddit. :)
Mr. M - Honest to goodness, if I can work this phone, ANYONE can. You're going to love it.
Stellaa - Yes! I've found my technological g-spot! I love that term. Thanks for the tip on the radio app. I'll look for it. It would be way cool to listen to the radio from around the world.
Cathy - Congratulations! The only thing that ruins my party a bit is that I bought it last week when they were still $199. I'm waiting until 6/19, when the new 16G s comes out to see if they'll let me exchange for it.
David - I am stuck with a PC for work for the exact reasons you mentioned. I'm currently trying to save up money so I can at least replace my laptop (what's worse than Windows? Vista!) with an Apple.
Hello - I hear you. In fact, I am very sorry for getting that insufferable Jitterbug song stuck in everyone's head.
Tricia - iConformists unite!
Deepcleav - Wow, clearly I have much to learn. I don't know the first thing about sending photos on anything! I think it matters less which phone you have as long as you're able to effectively work it. I never could figure out my previous ones so the iPhone makes me feel like a genius. :)
Laurel - But it's a PHONE with a LEVEL. It doesn't matter that you have a real level; it's all about the coolness factor of having one in your PHONE. I still think you're hip (and a hell of a cook!) no matter what.
Dustbowldiva - I'm telling you, you'll feel like a techno-genius.
Good Luck!
Now I want to get a text from you!
In the meantime, I had a good cry over loosing six months worth of contacts that had not been properly uploaded into my Microsoft Outlook software.
Back to techosavvy: I told my sister that I lost my contacts and she said she wished she could be there to crawl around on the floor to help me find them...:)
Z Bitch - I appreciate your endorsement! :)
mamoore - Oh, I didn't even think about the kiddie entertainment potential. Off to the App store!
Zoe - Yes, I'd love to have an Apple computer. I have to use a PC for work (I work from home) so I've resisted switching. Based on what coachcaptain says, I might not have to choose.
wakingupslowly - In the past, someone requesting that I text them would have thrown me into a panic, but now it's no big deal.
Lisa - Hey girl! I think it's more about liking the phone you have and knowing how to use it rather than saying one is better than another. Everyone's preferences are different. The iPhone makes me feel technologically gifted and that is a huge accomplishment.
Lisa - OUCH! Your phone was stolen with all of your contacts in it? That's doubly bad news in your line of work. Texting on the iPhone takes a bit to get used to. I wish there was a stylus that could be used with it. I find that using the side of my fingers and a very light touch works great. Also, it seems to learn the words that I commonly use. This might be my imagination but it seems to be the case.
Teddy - I like the way you think! If every device came with a 12-year-old kid, we'd all be set. We can send them back before they officially hit puberty. I appreciate you always taking the time to offer your support and encouragement to me.
Wits - I don't find not having a cell phone as too unbelievable since I never fully utilized mine. Now that I have one that I can actually operate, I'm already using it a lot more. Luddite or not, it's great to see you here. :)
Nearly everyone I know has an iPhone and they either love them or hate them, no middle ground. Glad to hear you're loving yours. ;)
So, have you used the level?
loved the happy ending, too
Denise - I have used the level! I live in a very old house (1830) and I've learned that my suspicions are correct: not a single surface in this house is plumb.
coffeegyrl - This is even more embarrassing to admit, but I did read the instructions. Maybe it's just the phones I've chosen but it's as if they were translated from a different language - poorly.
Roy - I consider myself an intelligent person, but man, stick me with my former cellphones and I feel like the village idiot. Apparently intelligence has little to do with figuring out gadgets. Thanks for assuring me I'm not the only one. :)
Good for you, getting techie.
Eva - Thank you for your willingness to admit that you needed to enlist the help of a twenty-something to figure out your Blackberry. Since so many of us have this same issue, I think they need to make the instructions more user-friendly. Thank you for stopping by. :)
Michael - If you can work your cable box AND your DVR, you are way ahead of me technologically. :)