Monday, June 25, 2012

To All the Boys I've Danced With: Better Get a Checkup STAT!


SEPTEMBER 3, 2009 10:28AM

To All the Boys I've Danced With: Better Get a Checkup STAT!

RATE: 27
I think I'm cursed.
It’s not the type of curse you’d expect, such as I am cursed with unreasonable curly hair, or cursed with a hoarding disease where books are involved.  Oh no; nothing ordinary like that.  My flavor of curse is like nothing of which I’ve ever heard: 

All of the boys with whom I’ve gone to dances have died. 

Thankfully, I wasn’t exactly a socialite when it came to dances.  In my high school years, I’d gone to exactly two:  Homecoming Dance when I was in 9thgrade, and my Senior Prom.  (I would have gone to the Junior Prom but the guy who was supposed to take me decided he’d rather go with his male cousin instead.  I’ll spare you the story of how I’m always the last to know that they’re gay for another time.)
 
I learned of the death of my Senior Prom date about 15 years ago while perusing the obituaries (oh shut up; you know you check them, too.)  I hadn’t been in contact with him since graduation, our lives having taken two distinctly different paths.  He left for a career in the travel industry and I never saw him again. 
 
I mourned his loss privately.  He’d never married (do you think I missed the gay clue again?) and I thought about reaching out to his parents.  For some reason, they never liked me much.  They considered me a bad influence on him (something about a teeny little note I wrote which suggested that he couldn’t go to work because he was too high.  Honestly, some parents get uptight over anything.) 
 
The other day, I decided to search for my Homecoming Dance date on Facebook.  I’d seen a commercial on TV in which a dejected mop drives past his love interest’s house in a beat up AMC Gremlin.  My date, Randy, had the same kind of car and it made me think of him.
 
Randy didn’t have a lot going for him on the outside.  He wasn’t attractive; a raging case of acne gave his face a permanently reddish hue.  He drove a Gremlin rather than one of the cool muscle cars of the 1970s.  Most unhip of all was the fact that he worked in a slaughterhouse.  Even though we lived in the country where the life and death of food was more easily understood and tolerated, Randy’s job didn’t exactly endear him to the girls.
 
We were both in Marching Band, he as a drummer, and I as a color guard.   He was two years older than I.  When he asked me to the Homecoming Dance, I almost said no.  In my 14-year-old world, he wasn’t the sort of boy I could imagine myself dating.  Still, I agreed to go.  Even as a teen, I believed that a person’s gifts weren’t always readily apparent and I decided to give him a chance.
 
Although he’d originally been a mercy date, I discovered that Randy was a genuinely nice person.  When I moved to the city at the end of my freshman year, he figured out how to find me and showed up at my house two years later.  He said that he just wanted to make sure that I was happy.
 
Imagine my surprise when a search on Facebook yielded nothing for his name (he had an unusual one) but the Google hits below the name search included a link to a cemetery located in the town where we used to live. 
 
I wasn’t alarmed at first, figuring that he probably worked there.  Working for a cemetery isn’t such a career stretch when you’ve worked in a slaughterhouse.  I clicked the link and found myself at the top of a list of names with birth and death dates.  Scrolling through the names, I found Randy’s.  The birth date was correct:  August 22, 1961.  He’d died in 1986, just days before his 25th birthday.
 
Not only was I sad to learn of Randy’s death, but this also completely freaked me out.  Two dances, two guys, two different states, and both are dead?  I’m not a Black Widow, but maybe I am a Cursed Date. 
 
My husband thinks the idea of me being cursed is ridiculous, but that’s probably only because he hasn’t danced with me.  We were broke when we married, so we tied the knot simply and cheaply, with no reception afterward. I guess being broke has its rewards, especially when there’s a curse involved.
 
So there it is; my dancing curse.  I’d gone to two different dances, with two different boys, and they both died way too soon.  It’s awful and horrible and I feel terrible for both of them and their families.
 
Unfortunately, I worry that my curse isn’t over.  There are lots of other boys who should probably call their doctors and get a medical check-up soon.  Who knows how far a curse can spread through square dancing in gym class?
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Comments

Some of my wife's ex-boyfriends have died, too. However since I'm her first husband, I feel like I am blessed rather than cursed. I'm sure your husband feels the same way.

Lisa, I think as I am in my mid fifties, my awareness of people dying too soon is greater than at 25. Perhaps as we mature, we uh, mature. Rated.
Oh dear honey, two of my ex lovers are dead. And so is the first boy I ever kissed. It happens to the best of us; it's called life. Hugs
Dancing, curses an death. I guess I'm safe. I've never square danced. But reading the obits tells me I'm still here. rAted!
Ouch! Didn't know dancing was so harmful! I've danced many dances but, I won't be checking on any partners out after reading this. Just don't do any dancing with your husband, Lisa! Good post and I'm sorry it turned out that way.
Sheepie - Maybe marrying us removes the curse?

Lisa - Wow, you've got me beat! I guess we should consider ourselves lucky we didn't end up with those guys. Thanks for the hugs.

Chuck - You never experienced the humiliation known as "square dancing?" You ARE fortunate! Thanks for stopping by.

Pamela - I don't think an Act of Congress could get my husband to dance, so I guess he's safe from my curse. :)
Ouch.

So far as I know none of the boys I danced with have died, although one did get shot in the head and ended up a vegetable.
Hehehe. I'm not going to the Ho-down if you plan to attend. I had the talking curse as an adolescent, but nobody died. When a girl would talk to me I turned into a babbling idiot. Now that I'm older I've found that self medication helps somewhat, but not always. I'm still at the mercy of pretty women. Sad, I know.
I suspect that the Arthur Murray Studios has taken your name off its mailing list.
I know what you're feeling. I waited a year to get into a relationship after my husband died, and then that boyfriend died. But as Sheepie and Lisa said, I guess that's life. (Still I don't tell potentials about my track record.)
I suppose some could see my "gift" as a "curse" as well: after I broke up with someone, they ALWAYS married the next person they went out with!!! Don't you think that's a little strange? I can't tell you if those marriages ended up happy or awful, thus the gift/curse thing.
I can only think of Maggie McConnell from Northern Exposure . . . such a curse . . . though I believe she broke it at the end.
Ack! I had to post and run earlier (school shoe shopping.) Thank you all for taking time to read about my curse.

Leeandra - A shooting? Yikes! I guess I'm grateful that I don't know exactly how they died.

Michael - I love that - talking curse! One of these days, I'm going to come to Florida and you can talk all you want and I won't dare dance with you.

JK - Yeah, I'm thinking my chances of ever getting hubby to dance with me are pretty slim now.

Stim - Bwahaha! If they haven't, they probably should!

Lea - I'm surprised to learn that so many of us have outlived people we've dated. Yes, I suppose it's just life. You get what you get, and you say thank you. Thanks so much for stopping by.

bluesurly - I love your "gift." I used to say that men turned gay after having dated me. At least that's what it seemed like.

LandP - DEAL!

Owl - Someone else mentioned Maggie from Northern Exposure. I used to love that show, but I can't remember how she broke the curse. Now I have an excuse to rent the series on DVD.
Lisa--I stand corrected, and on this Bob's right--he isn't a "vegetable," he's in a persistent vegetative state. It was, from what I heard, an argument with his best friend over a girl who was sleeping with both of them. Kicker was that the girl was pregnant with a third guy's baby at the time.
Ah, but they died with a smile on their face!
Leeandra - Sounds like quite a triangle, although I'm sorry it ended so badly for your ex.

Steve - I certainly hope so. :)
Square dancing itself was a curse.
Wow, what about the Mexican Hat Dance, how many were involved with you in that? I'd have to say the curse was broken by your marriage. You, er, might not have been on a dance floor with hubby, but um, they call, uh, you know, ah, relations the "horizontal mambo"? heh
Do NOT dance with your husband. I know you know that. I just had to say it. [It's good leverage actually in an argument.]
I doubt dancing is the problem, because none of those guys knew how to dance. Maybe you should re-phrase your piece to "A Couple of Guys I Dated Died". But then no one would really care. Statistically, when a country is embroiled in two wars, there's a good chance that more than two guys you knew in high school would be dead. Unless, of course, they had wealthy parents.
LOL! I heard this story from you before - thought that brief version was hilarious then.... It took this long to get it on OS? But of course, it was going to be an editor's pick! You rock!
I share your curse. When I was invited to my 50th HS reunion (I didn't go), I discovered that every one of the seven girls I dated before 1955 have died or disappeared into some untraceable trailer park.
One in particular, Mary Ann, was a small bundle of energetic joy, while I was a lifelong smoker and zero exerciser. I found this news to be very disturbing and I keep thinking about it several years later.
......I won't dance, don't ask me......
Great piece
Hah. Great! At my age I am sure I will find lot's of people I've known are dead! On the other hand, I find that many of the people I knew are still alive and somehow, that's just as bad!
I was also thinking of Maggie O'Connell.

I have been known to accidentally injure those with whom I've danced but I don't believe any have died. I just assumed it was my excuse to stay home and watch movies.
Your curse might be a blessing, indeed the answerto my prayers. Lisa, may I ask you whenever the time is right, with your husband's permission, to danse with me?
Only a rather good looking man nearly half my age could make me withdraw this invitation. Don't worry, he isn't gay either and needs no introduction. His name is Barack Obama.
Whether I am widowed or divorced is a matter of perspevtive. As neither you nor our readers know me from Adam I suggest to visit www.can-my-ego-trip-save-your-marriage.info to make a rather long story short.
Pushing 79 I hope to spend the rest of my days in California where our 5 children were born and 5 of 7 grandchildren are growing up. However, lack of coverage for preeisting medical condition could bankrupt them. My native Austria provides me generous national health insurance.
President Obama promised to remove that risk. It Congress does not swiftly pass overdue legislation I rather rely on your unusual curse than the unsinkable Sarah Palin's's dubious ambition. Lisa, p0lease don'f let me down.
No problem if the curse doesn't work on straight men. Let us danse all night on a popular reality show. Bookies all over the world may take bets on Lisa's curse. Let us tithe them for a charitable Cynthia Imhof Memorial Trust's benfit that honours my dear ex' memory prepaying innovative marrige insurance premiums for potential role models unable to fund it.
Counting my blessings I would rather provide for the good cause that reconciled Cynthia and me than extend the lifetime Our Lord alotted me.
Lisa, re Northern Exposure, Maggie broke the curse by having sex with Joel. Of course, eventually that killed the show...
Scruffus - I used to feel that way in gym class, too!

Sally - HA! That came to my mind, too. It appears that the boys I've slept with are alive and well. :)

Deborah - You're right; if he doesn't give in, I'll threaten to dance with him!

Corte33 - Sadly, too many boys have been lost to war rather than dancing.

Lisa R - Yeah, this one was percolating for awhile. Thanks for always being so supportive, my friend.

Magritte - I feel for you. Hopefully more of them are alive and well in the trailer parks than the ones who are six feet under.
harlemflash - Ha! Your comment made me smile. Thanks for stopping by. I promise not to dance with you.

Poet - I know exactly what you mean. Maybe it's true that only the good die young?

Renaissance Lady - Thankfully, staying home and watching movies was often my preferred activity, too. Who knows how many others would have been harmed? Thank you for stopping by. :)

Mr. Imhof - I truly feel for you, indeed, for all of us. Health care reform is long overdue. I hope that Congress doesn't give in to the craziness and greed and does the right thing. My best to you, and gratitude for your comment.

Sally - Thank you! I could not remember how Maggie broke her curse. I still miss the quirky fun of that show.
I take solace in this because I had exactly one date in high school. Maybe those boys were smart enough to know back then that dating me could be a death wish. Very funny, yet sad. I don't read the obits. I'm not sure what the obsession is. Everyone else in my family seems to carry that disease...
Lisa, Your kind and caring comments are appreciated. I owe you thanks because the dansing curse encouraged me to post my first comment after waiting well over a year. Open Salon advised me that nonresident aliens may neitheroffer nor receive tips. Humour and hope that obama's hea;lth reform made me post a few lines. Nothing could be fiurther from my mind stan stiff a lafy that made me laugh. Unless petty IRs regulations were changed I must impose on your patience. Kind regards..
Cartouche - Those boys in high school missed out by not dating you. Thank you for always being so kind and supportive.

Mr. Imhof - I'm sending appreciation right back to you. I hope you'll stick around and continue to read and enjoy Open Salon. You can always find something interesting here. Many thanks again.
What!?!?!?

You didn't warn them you would be dancing the Tarantella !?!?!
Mr. E - Aw heck; I forgot about weddings! No wonder I no longer have any male relatives.
(originally Posted On Open Salon - Editor's Pick)

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