Monday, June 25, 2012

Finding Audrey's Tooth


FEBRUARY 5, 2009 8:56AM

Finding Audrey's Tooth

RATE: 35

Why can't they make the latches on these things more secure? 


Looking back, I probably should have offered to hold it for her while she played.  I know from experience with my own children how flimsy those plastic containers can be.  The little clasps on the lids hardly ever stay closed.
 
It was my day to help supervise recess at our elementary school.  As soon as the first group of kids came out to the playground, a small kindergarten girl with short dark hair and even darker eyes skipped over to me, proudly displaying a gap in her exaggerated smile.  She was wearing a necklace containing a large white plastic tooth-shaped holder.  I knew that the school nurse gave this type of necklace to children who’d lost a tooth during school. The tooth holder was supposed to keep the tooth from getting lost while the child was at school and keep it safe until they arrived home at the end of the day.
 
One of the girl’s friends spoke for her so that she would be free to continue showing off the area where her tooth used to be.  “Audrey had to have a tooth pulled today,” said the friend.
 
“You did?” I said to Audrey, who was now pointing to the gap with added effort so that I was sure to not miss it.  “Is this the first tooth you’ve lost?”
 
The friend answered for her, “Yes. Audrey had a loose tooth and her mom took her to the dentist to have it pulled out.” 
 
“Wow,” I said.  “Are you going to put it under your pillow?”  Audrey nodded, smiling.  She was clearly very pleased that I managed to catch the significance of this kindergarten milestone.  Satisfied, she and her friend ran off to play.
 
A few minutes later, a sad Audrey was back, this time telling me that she’d lost her tooth; the same tooth the dentist pulled out earlier.  Apparently she was running and her necklace came untied and now the tooth was gone.  She showed me the open, empty tooth holder as if by doing so I could somehow put it back. 
 
As a mom, I knew the importance of a first lost tooth to a child in kindergarten.  I also knew how painful it could be if that lost tooth were to become lost.

The year before, my son Evan was in kindergarten and had lost his first tooth while at school.  He’d been wiggling it during story time and when it finally released its hold on his six-year-old gums, it was covered in blood.  With his teacher’s permission, Evan went to the restroom to clean the blood off his tooth.  He wanted it to be shiny and clean for the Tooth Fairy.
 
No one warned him that a tooth can be a slippery thing which can fall into sink drains while you’re oh-so-carefully cleaning it.  No one warned his teachers how much a child can cry and carry on when this happens. 
 
In a great collective effort, Evan’s teachers and the office staff resolved to help him recover from the loss of his tooth.  A plan was hatched, one that involved detailed maps and printed instructions designed to direct the Tooth Fairy to Evan’s lost tooth in the sink drain.
 
The plan worked.  Evan stopped crying and was able to finish out the rest of the school day without incident.
 
He woke up the next day to find that the Tooth Fairy had indeed visited him. Not only did he discover a crisp dollar bill under his pillow but also a note:

 “Dear Evan, 
I’m so sorry that you lost your tooth down the drain.  Because of the maps and really good directions, I was able to find it. Keep brushing and flossing. 
Love, 
Your Friend The Tooth Fairy”  

Look, Ma!  A missing tooth!

Because of my son’s anguish at losing his tooth, I was even more determined to help Audrey.  I would be the one to find the tooth, to restore her smile, to be her hero.
 
I tried getting Audrey to narrow down the places on the playground where she’d been playing, but she could only tell me where she was when she discovered the tooth was missing: the area right below the office window of the school, not far from where we were standing. I searched the area thoroughly but there was no tooth.
 
Several children and I spent the rest of recess looking for her tooth.  Evan was out at recess at the same time, so I enlisted his help, figuring he would have extra compassion for another child who’d lost a tooth at school.  In spite of all our efforts, recess ended and Audrey had to return to her classroom without her tooth.
 
After the kids went inside the school, I stayed behind so that I could continue looking for the tooth.  I decided to walk a grid over the whole playground, one narrow path at a time.  I started at the far end of the playground and walked up and down, up and down, picking up every tooth-shaped, tooth-colored object along the way.  As I walked, people would come out and ask what I was looking for, or if they knew the story, they’d ask if I was still looking for Audrey’s tooth.

I wondered if I was foolish for trying to find a child’s baby tooth on an asphalt playground with my forty-something eyes.  What if I couldn’t find it?  I was already getting tired of walking, looking, stopping, bending, picking up, and rejecting dozens of tooth-shaped objects, none of which were actually a tooth. I could leave now and no one would think less of me.  Everyone knows I tried.  The image of Audrey, so sad over her missing tooth, merged with the image of Evan the year before, crying inconsolably over his missing tooth in the sink drain.  I couldn’t quit. I want to be a hero to this child. 

I’d been looking for Audrey’s tooth for more than an hour.  I walked one or two more passes on the playground then stopped to sit on some railroad ties near the door of the school to rest a minute.  As I sat, I looked at the ground in front of the railroad ties. As soon as I did, my eyes were drawn to something. There it was, a tiny ivory baby tooth, sitting on top of some ground up leaves and gravel, so close to the entrance of the school.  So close to where I was standing when Audrey first told me she’d lost her tooth.  I don’t know how I’d missed it, but I’d found it now.  I couldn’t wait to show Audrey.
 
I went inside the school to the kindergarten classroom.  The children were all sitting on the floor as the school’s principal read to them.  Audrey’s teacher was in the back of the room, so I motioned to her through the door that I’d found Audrey’s tooth.  She came to the door, carefully stepping around children, and took the tooth from me.  I caught Audrey’s glance and gave her the thumbs-up sign so she’d know I found her tooth.
 
As I was leaving the school, I saw the principal leading Audrey toward me, telling her how much time I spent looking for her tooth, and wasn’t that a nice thing to do, and didn’t she have something to say to me.  Audrey looked up at me without expression and obediently said, “Thank you, Miss Lisa.”
 
The principal, evidently expecting a bigger reaction from Audrey, suggested that she might want to give me a hug, too, since I worked so hard at finding her tooth.  Audrey calmly hugged me.  She wasn’t excited or full of emotion.  It was as if the sadness from recess was all forgotten and no longer a concern. This wasn’t how I imagined she’d be and I was ashamed to admit that I was disappointed.  So much for my hero moment. 
 
Later that day, when my sons arrived home from school, I overheard Evan talking to his brother Matt.  Evan told Matt all about how Audrey lost her tooth on the playground at recess, and how everyone tried to find it but couldn’t, and how Mom was the one who finally found it. 
 
It might have been to a different child, but maybe I was a hero after all.








*photo of tooth holder from www.orientaltrading.com
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Comments

Awesome story! Yeah, never count on kids to be enthused about what you'd think they'd be enthused about. A friend of mine whose daughter is really into dolls spend hours making a video of her dancing with her dolls for Christmas only to have the kid say, "That's nice, mom."

In case you ever need to do this again - try looking with a flashlight. Even in daylight, the beam of the flashlight will hit the one thing with a different texture and help you see it.
Allie - Thanks. I hope I never have to hunt for a tooth again (aren't contact lenses bad enough?) but I'll remember the flashlight if I do.
Hy Heroine! Loved this one Lisa.
I lost a tooth as a child. My mother said if I put a shiny nickel under my pillow, The tooth fairy would know what had happened and leave me a quarter. The ploy worked and I was none the wiser.
I hear now days that if you leave a nickel there will only be three cents left when you wake because of high surcharges attached to fairy fuel by Exxon Mobile. True story!
You are a hero, Lisa. you never know how kids think... Your own son knew.
Remember how important those kinder teeth are, esp the first! My own kid never wanted it under her pillow though--was scared of someone, magical or not--money or not, coming into her room while she slept.
Great story!
Michael - A shiny nickel, huh? That would have saved a ton of scheming. Too funny about the fairy fuel surcharge!

Stephanie - Thank you! It's amazing how kids are impressed by the simplest acts of kindness. Even though Audrey was underwhelmed when she got her tooth back, she always gives me a big hug when she sees me at school. I guess in addition to being a hero, I made a friend, too.
What a wonderful story and nice told. You were the Hero. This was so cute I really enjoyed reading it. It took me back to the days of the tooth fairy with my girls. That was so nice of you to find the tooth, most poeple would have told her "Well it is gone", but you didn't.
Thank you for sharing
So sweet!

I was volunteering in my son's kindergarten class last year, when one of his classmates lost her first tooth, the first child in the class to do so. It fell out when she was eating a cupcake. She was absolutely distraught. She was crying so hard she couldn't breath, and tears were dripping off her cheeks. Finally, based on the few words she was able to gasp out between sobs, we realized that no one had ever explained to her about baby teeth vs adult teeth. So she thought she'd lost her tooth for good, and that she'd have a space in her mouth forever, and that maybe the others would start falling out too, so she would end up the only kid without any teeth. No wonder she was so upset!

It would be rather disconcerting to have a previously reliable body part just up and fall out one day. And, if that can happen, then what other body parts might follow suit? How about hair? Fingers? Eyes? Looked at that way, the trauma is rather understandable.

Anyway. Appreciated or not, you were a very nice mom to find her tooth.
Great story. It brought back memories of when my daughter lost a tooth and we had to leave a note for the Tooth Fairy.
Lisa,
Once again you warmed my heart! Thank you for the post. And thanks for using one of my favorite words, "wiggling". :)!
fireeyes - I hope that she'll at least return the kindness someday. Got to keep passing it on, you know.

Marple - Aw, what a traumatic thing to imagine! Poor child. No wonder she was crying so hard. This just goes to show the further value of teachers and parent volunteers in a child's life. They help children through those moments of uncertainty beyond academics. P.S. Did I tell you how glad I am that you're back?

Julie - I wonder how many tears Tooth Fairy notes have helped prevent? Thank for stopping by.
Sarah - You're sweet! The words "wiggling" and "children" were made for one another, weren't they?
As a mother of a kindergartener, I just wanted to say how much I loved your story and how much I hope there are people like you in my daughters daily life...whether she realizes they are her heros or not.
You are Lady Lancelot, Lady Obe won Kenobi, Robin Hood!
Great story, pathos, disappointment, joy, love everyything a good mom should be.
Isn't this just the way? I have several moment like this, when I tried so very hard to do just the very most right thing (the perfect present she had mentioned, finding the lost thing, doing the thing I thought would make the biggest difference.....) but what I have discovered over the years is that children have very short memories, which is the best thing about them and what makes them raise-able (is that a word) and resilient and all that jazz... If they didn't have short memories, more of them would, well, be so damaged by what horrible adults do to them that they would NEVER survive. God bless them.

Great post, doll.
Jane - Yep, hearing Evan talk about me like I was some kind of superhero was the absolute best!

Melissa - Wow! What a nice compliment! Is your daughter that same fine young lady who drew that beautiful inaugural picture of President Obama? She'll have lots of people looking out for her, I'll bet. Her sweetness shines through.

Professor - I'm sure finding a lost tooth isn't on the same level of greatness with those people but I appreciate hearing it just the same. :)
Lisa - I think the kindness shown to children gets into their brains somehow. They'll grow up and have children of their own and find that they just "know" the right way to be. I like to think that being a good example is never wasted. Thank you!
Well, you sure as hell are my hero!!! That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard ... you are the best mom/recess attendant ever!!! Who knows ... maybe finding Audrey's tooth was meant to be something special for your boys and not for Audrey at all ... especially considering your own tooth-lossage fiasco and the beautiful way you handled it. :)

Hooray, my hero!!!
What a nice story! Just the thing to start my day with my coffee...sending it on to a couple of teacher friends and a mother of three tooth losing kiddos..rated
1IM- Thank you. I think I got more out of it than anyone.

scared grandma - You're so kind! I'm glad you enjoyed my story. I appreciate your kind words.
Every story just keeps getting better! I think you are hitting your stride as a writer, and each post sparkles. I'm glad I get the chance to see you grow!
scared grandma - P. S. - I read and tried to leave a comment on your Sarah Palin story but you must have taken it down at the same time. I do wish you'd write more. Your stuff really is terrific. I still adore your Ice Cream piece!

aim - Thank you so much! You just made my day. :)
I remember the distinct sense of disappointment I felt when I dropped my tooth down the drain. I still have the letter I wrote to the tooth fairy, explaining the loss and how she should still give me my money. "If you dont belive me look in my mowth."

The next morning, the usual 50¢ was under my pillow and all was right with the world.

You done good, Lisa.
I completely forgot about the plastic tooth-holder necklaces.

I lost my first tooth when I was four, at a wedding reception, while eating a ham salad sandwich I didn't want to eat but which my Dad made me. I didn't realize it had come out for a while, because I thought that the red stuff on my sandwich was ketchup, then I remembered that I didn't put ketchup on the sandwich. Had to dig the baby tooth out of the ham salad goop.

I still can't stand ham salad.

Good for you in finding Audrey's tooth for her.
And to think, you passed up the opportunity to lecture her about being more careful, and the Tooth Fairy doesn't want the teeth of careless children anyway. How will this child learn a sense of responsibility. She's just going to go through life thinking that someone else will magically solve her problems.

Glad you were able to be a hero to your son. Those times are probably few and far between. I love your inner monologues.
Oh man! You're a hero to Audrey's mom and dad for sure. You know if it hadn't been found, that she would have been devastated. She's just too young to focus on what could have been and seen the significance. Rest assured, when she looks back, she'll think on it differently! You're definitely a hero!
How easy it is to expect children to understand adults, (tooth is gone, deal with it) but it's so much more rewarding to understand them. When you can make something happen for a kid, something big like this? It was your lucky day.
I’m not sure why I got all choked-up reading the part about the plan ‘hatched’ to console Evan and your cute-as-hell tooth fairy note (that ended in ‘keep flossing and brushing’!). But I did.

Man, it’s one thing to read Dr. Seuss’ ‘The Tooth Book’ w/my pre-schoolers, but I guess I haven’t thought about what it’ll feel like to go through all those tiny milestones. I’ll have to find a way to have teachers as creative and kind as @your elementary school – and parents like you – around when we do. Extremely cute and endearing post, Lisa. (Honestly, I don’t know how you find the time).
This was a precious story. When my daughter had her first wiggley tooth, I went out and bought a little antique silver box just for the purpose of holding her teeth. I wanted the box to be a surprise for her when she turned 18 or something. But, as kids do, she snooped and found it. She was smart enough to pull up the ancient liner and find her teeth. Now, she only has one more baby tooth to go. I guess I'll have to take up stamp collecting then.
Lisa, Hopefully does remember and pass on the kindness. Have to pass to it on..
nonsense, you are a hero. at least I think so. I could have used you as we hunted for my rosary, finally found it. I don't use it much, but I like having it around. its presence is the use.
Oh, Lisa, you are a first class hero! How sweet of you, you went over and above duty to find the tooth. You had every right to be disappointed but, I'm sure her parents were happy about it. You deserve the "Best Mom" award as you surely are! Great, loving story. Thanks!
Aw, man. Work is interfering with my OS time again! I'm sorry I'm so late in responding here.

Mari - So you've lost a tooth down the drain too? Evan would be happy to know that. He still talks about when he lost his tooth down the sink.

Leeandra - Ham salad is just nasty. Tooth or no tooth, best to avoid that stuff.

Mrs. Michaels - I figure Audrey will have enough people breaking her spirit, er, I mean, lecturing her on responsibility. :)

angrymom - We moms "get it," don't we? Thank you!

Jimmy - I agree. I gained much more from this experience than Audrey did. By far. Thank you.
David - When you talk about your young children, and the milestones they haven't yet reached, it makes me nostalgic for those days with my own children. I know everyone says it but it's so true: treasure every day. They grow up so fast!

Jess - I love the idea of a special box for the baby teeth! Don't worry about taking up stamp collecting. You'll just move on to their first dance invitation, first date, graduation, first job, first traffic ticket, etc. Sorry about that last one. I'm still upset about my son's speeding ticket. :(

fireeyes - :)

LandP - You're so sweet! Thanks for giving me permission to have some chocolate. Would you mind writing a permission slip for my diet plan?

Professor - I'll bet I could have found your rosary. I am great at finding things. I once found a contact lens (mine) that was lost in grass in our front yard. It took me three days, but I found it! Thanks again for your kind and supportive comments.

Pamela - Thank you! You're always such a joy to me.
Lisa, this is such great writing! And I'm impressed with your persistence.

I must tell you my nephew Ben misplaced his first lost tooth -- and called 9-1-1 to report it. HE will appreciate this story.
Faith - Thanks so much for the compliment on my writing. Coming from you, it means even more. I love the story about your nephew losing his tooth and calling 911. I'll bet the 911 operators are still talking about that one!
oh, lisa, i love this and i love you. last sentence sums it all up beautifully. what i often say is that what comes rounjd, goes arond isn't a back and forth thing, it's a big circle and if you do seomthing heroic or even just nice, eventually you will receive unexpected kindness from someone else. im' so pleased that your circle went around so quickly!!! love love love to you and to evan and to his tooth. i'm a little pissed at audrey for her blase manner but i know it's how it goes.
Every time I try in advance to figure out how a child will react to some act of kindness I am always wrong.

Audrey sounds like a lot of timid kids who hide what they really think. So I wish you could have been a fly on the wall at her house when she told her mom what you did. Might have been a whole different and confident little girl talking in the safety of her home to her mom.

And, boy, does Evan know how to charm his mom! He's a real keeper.

Monte
Take a bow, Tooth Fairy! =o) There's more than one way to be a heroine.
wonderful story, Lisa, beautiful ending
Teddy - That's what I'm counting on; that one day Audrey will pass on the kindness. Maybe she'll be a bit more patient with a child when she's an adult. Thanks for stopping by. :)

Monte - You're right. Children rarely react how you expect. Think of all of the times we think we're getting them the perfect birthday gift only to find them playing with the boxes and wrapping paper! It was my fault for setting my own expectations so high. I should know better, having three kids myself. You're also right about Evan. That boy can charm anyone!

Shiral - I guess if we're lucky, we can all be heroes or heroines at some point in our lives. I know that I got much more out of the experience than Audrey did.

Roy - Thank you so much!
JK - You are always so nice to me. Thank you!

Moana - I'm humbled. Thank you.
I think the fact that you found that tiny tooth on that big playground makes you the real tooth fairy!! That was very sweet of you.
What a magnificent hero you were to locate that tiny little tooth!!!
I am very impressed you know!
Beautifully written and a great pleasure to read; thank you for sharing yr story....
{rated!}
M B - I still don't know how I found it. Thank you for stopping by.

Nahatsu - Such nice comments - thank you so much!

Cindy - Shhh....don't tell, but the Tooth Fairy is flakey in our house, too. She had her act together with the first child, got progressively worse with child #2, and now with poor Evan, she forgets quite a bit. Usually I "double check" (after discreetly and quickly grabbing a dollar bill) to see if Evan might have overlooked the money. Then I tell him that she left it in a slightly different place. Parenting is dirty business.
Such fickle creatures, those little ones! Well, at least you impressed the kid whose opinion really counted. And who knows, the next time Audrey conjures up a vision of the Tooth Fairy in her head, she may see a lady who looks very much like you.

Smiling at the image of you combing the playground (for more than an hour!) for a lost baby tooth...Might have been easier to offer a reward and put all the kids in the class on the case.
Laurel - I think something about my finding her tooth must have affected Audrey because she now runs up and hugs me whenever she sees me at school. If this were to happen again, I'll take your advice and offer a reward so that the kids can do the searching!
I thought of this post this morning as my 10 year old son discovered his little plastic tooth necklace (which used to contain 5 of his baby teeth) chewed to bits under his bed. We can only conclude that those precious teeth are now occupying our dogs' stomach or have already been deposited in our woods. Would you like to lead the search team?
Melissa - Oh my! I'm guessing that those teeth are goners. Once my son wanted me to check the dog's poop for a prized Lego piece. I wouldn't do it. I draw the line at sifting through poop. Sorry for the loss of the baby teeth, but I appreciate the early morning chuckle!
(Originally Posted On Open Salon)

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