A brand new bra and a sparkly tiara have Deven's mom in the mood for love. She has her eye on a fellow named Bob. Since we all love Mom so much, and would never want some old fart to leave her heartbroken, it's our duty to make sure his intentions are noble (or at least interesting.)
Here's a list of questions that Bob should answer in order to confirm his Clearance for Datability of Deven's Mom. Please feel free to add your own concerns to the list:
1. How do you feel about Old Country Buffet?
2. Do you believe that bacon is an essential food group?
3. If you were to find a small but lovely troll-like creature at the bottom of Mom's walker basket, would you treat her lovingly?
4. Have you ever felt the need to stockpile sandbags? How about bags of rice?
5. Do you feel confident enough to be able to hold your own during a trip to Whole Foods, even if confronted with cheese sommeliers?
6. How do you feel about sad sex? How about loveseat sex?
7. What's Mom's favorite snack?
8. Do you fully and completely understand the movie rating system of cats and crows? If not, are you willing to learn?
9. Mom has an online fan club. How tolerant will you be of Mom's fame?
10. How is your sense of direction? Does it work equally well in places like Target?
11. Are your books able to stand on the shelf upright, or do they need to lie down?
12. You've given Mom M & M's. Is that your definition of foreplay?
Anyone have anything else to add?
Comments
Would you make and share your popcorn with Mom and the girls?
Damn!!!!!!!!
(rated)
m&ms -- the dark chocolate ones -- are my salvation so i would consider them to be foreplay if there was a suitor. so i'm betting that that was Bob's big move.
shoot, i had a good one and it's gone now. will be back.
thanks for making me laugh out loud. i think i shook up george the tumor which rocks. love to you lisa, deven and mom!!! you're the best company a woman can have. love love love
Are cat toys acceptable gifts for humans?
Should sausage contain artichokes?
What's your feeling on movies with boy-girls or big ding-dongs?
Can you growl?
I laughed so hard I cried. Good work, Lisa.
Great work Lisa. Rated for fun
When you decide to cook a romantic dinner at home, do you know how to make anything other than spaghetti?
I'm friending you, if that's ok!
Great job Lisa ... I think you might be able to get this reality show on Bravo!!!