My dog Shelby (affectionately known as Madame Cujo) has more than her fair share of unlovable traits. In addition to her fear-aggression issues, she’s also a barfer. I don’t do barf. As soon as someone in the house announces that they feel nauseous, I give them a bucket and tell them to not dare puke on the carpet. I can deal with poop, pee, bugs, and rodents, but I draw the line at barf.
It was bad enough that Shelby has always barfed about once a month since we’ve had her, but when she started barfing once a day, I knew that I had to take her to the veterinary office.
Before criticizing me for not taking her to the vet before now, you need to understand two things about Shelby. One, she is extremely aggressive toward strangers, and doubly so if those strangers happen to be at the local veterinary hospital. She is still pissed, it seems, from her puppy shots over a year and a half ago, and uses every opportunity to show her displeasure about this matter toward the veterinary staff. The last time she was at the vet’s (for vomiting, of course), she came this close to biting the vet and had to be muzzled. Visions of lawsuits danced in my head.
The other thing that you need to know about Shelby is that she eats EVERYTHING: leaves, sticks, rocks, Legos, yarn, dust bunnies (her favorite), paper, plastic, clumps of mud, spiders, beetles, pest control glue boards, tissues, tampons, and anything that the kids have dropped on the floor or she finds in the yard. Unfortunately for her, she has an extremely sensitive stomach, so she pretty much immediately throws up whatever she’s just eaten. (Yeah. She’s a prize.)
When I had her spayed, we had to orchestrate her arrival at the veterinary hospital 1) so that the fewest number of people were in the waiting room, 2) so that she could be sedated as soon as we arrived, and 3) so that her surgery could be performed right away before the sedation wore off. You can see how she is not the type of dog whom you can simply put in the car and take to the vet. It takes planning, patience, and nerves of steel, traits which I do not possess in any appreciable quantity. Add to that my paralyzing anxiety over the experience and All That Can Go Wrong, and you’ll understand my reluctance to take her there if I didn’t have to.
I made an appointment with my favorite vet, the only one who’s been able to see any sort of endearing quality in Shelby. It’s funny how so many people are quick to condemn you if you have an unlovable dog, as if it’s somehow your fault, yet they’re also equally quick to condemn you if you were to surrender said unlovable dog to a shelter. But I digress.
Dr. B. is a kind and compassionate vet, truly the sort of doctor that you envision as being the ideal practitioner: compassionate and kind toward her animal patients, respectful and friendly toward their human owners, with the added bonus of being extremely experienced and knowledgeable. She will spend as much time with you as you need so that you clearly understand what is going on with your pet as well as the proposed course of treatment. She is one in a million. That’s why I tolerate her one bad quality: she is always, always, always running behind in her appointments.
Knowing that Madame Cujo would be worked into an absolute lather if forced to spend more than 5 minutes in the waiting room, I called ahead to see if Dr. B. was running behind. It was 11:45. Our appointment was for 12:15 and I live 5 minutes away. I was told that Dr. B. was currently with a patient and there was one more for her to see before us. The woman at the vet’s office suggested that if I left home at 12:30, we should be able to prevent an excessive wait for Shelby.
We arrived at 12:35. The waiting room wasn’t too crowded. Good sign. There were some cats on the one side, so I took Shelby to the waiting room on the other side of the entrance. There was a small wall which I hoped would shield her view from people coming and going (it didn’t). She was on a leash and muzzled (don’t judge me – it was at the vet’s suggestion and I don’t want anyone to get bit).
As soon as we walked in, Shelby was already in full-blown psychotic behavior: growling at the staff behind the counter, barking (yes, apparently a schnauzer can still bark while muzzled), and lunging. She remembered this place and wasn’t going to go inside peacefully. I could tell that it was going to be a very long day.
The vet’s office is constructed with concrete walls and concrete floors so it’s easy to clean, but when you have a shrill, barking, psychotic schnauzer in there, it feels as if your ears are going to bleed from the noise. The concrete serves as an amplifier. Needless to say, Shelby and I are not exactly popular when we go to the vet’s and this time was no different. People were tsk-tsking and staring disapprovingly at me and my crazy unlovable dog. I could feel my face burning from the embarrassment. I wanted to die.
Here’s where the Dog Whisperer comes in. Two things I learned from watching his show are that you need to get control of the situation with a difficult dog before it escalates into something completely unmanageable, and only calm, submissive behavior should be rewarded. Shelby was already nervous but I knew that it could get much worse. I needed to regain control NOW.
As if Cesar Millan himself were giving me instructions, I had a plan. I stood up in front of her to block her view of the people in the room. I gave a quick tug on the leash to get her attention. Once she looked at my face, I commanded, “sit!” Surprisingly, she sat. She was still worried about the people in the room, though, and tried to look around my legs. “Ack!” I jerked the leash slightly again and disrupted her concern. She looked at me directly in the face and remained seated. After a moment or two, her posture began to relax, all the while keeping her eyes on my face. Amazing! I told her she was a good girl and pet her.
A man and a large, lumbering dog walked in and she started to go ballistic again. Take charge, Lisa. Be the "Pahck LEA-der"! I did the same thing: stood up, blocked her view, gained her attention, told her to sit, and praised her when she relaxed. It worked!
I had to repeat this procedure probably 80 or 90 times during the (no lie) 45 minutes that we waited but Shelby never reached that psychotic state that she’d been in when we first arrived.
When we were finally called into the exam room, I expected that Shelby would lunge and growl at the vet tech who escorted us into the room, but she didn’t. One obstacle down. Still, I knew she’d be a handful when the vet arrived.
I considered what I was going to do so that I would have a plan in place. I decided to do what worked in the waiting room. When Dr. B. came in, I immediately stood up in front of Shelby, tugged the leash, and had her sit. I instructed Dr. B to please ignore Shelby and talk with me first before examining her. When Dr. B., who is very aware of Shelby’s issues, saw her sitting perfectly and not even barking, she said, “I am so proud of you! In fact, I’ve never been more proud of any of my patients than I am of you right now.”
Dr. B. kept her distance while we discussed Shelby’s barfing problem. Because I wanted to make the most of this visit and not subject Shelby to unnecessary painful tests, I kept careful records of her diet, when she threw up, what it looked like, and whether it involved retching or no retching (Shelby had recently started vomiting without retching, also called regurgitation.) Dr. B. and I had a relaxed discussion and developed a plan for Shelby’s treatment. Shelby, unbelievably, lay down by my feet, fully relaxed, while we talked. I pet her to reward her calmness.
We needed x-rays and blood work. Dr. B. tried to coax Shelby to follow her on the leash but Shelby started to panic and tried to pull away. Clearly that wasn’t go to work, so Dr. B., in her most pet-friendly, sing-song voice, talked to Shelby while gently picking her up. Shelby struggled a bit, but Dr. B. was able to take her out of the exam room and into the back for her tests. Oh my gosh. My dog is almost behaving normally!
Dr. B. brought her back in the room after the blood draw and the x-rays. Shelby was very happy to see me and nearly leapt out of Dr. B’s arms. Dr. B. told me that I could take her muzzle off since the touching part was over. Dogs with fear aggression cannot bear to be touched by strangers. I expected that Shelby would start barking and growling, but she didn’t. A miracle! I think I need to send flowers to Cesar Millan. Or maybe a Mercedes.
Shelby will always be difficult and she will likely never be friendly toward strangers, but I proved to myself that I can manage her. Who knows? After a lifetime of this type of training, maybe she will learn to manage herself too.
Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a margarita with my name on it.
UPDATE: Dr. B. just called. Shelby's lab work was "perfect". No signs of pancreatitis or the half dozen other big-deal reasons why she might be getting sick. That leaves parasites and food allergies. She told me to continue with the wormer (I'll finish up the second round of doses on Christmas Day - what a Christmas present!) and then if she gets sick at all after that, we'll try the hypoallergic prescription dog food.
Finally something about Shelby that is perfect - her blood work!
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He is also very hard to vet as he wants to play with every dog in the room and begins screaming if not permitted to do so. Imagine a that horrible kid who wants a toy and lies in the middle of the aisle kicking his legs and screaming and you have a Barkley vet fit. Since he is cared for at a military installation, his lack of discipline is even more shameful. I trudge in with him in a backpack designed to carry dogs so my hands are free to pay and fill out paperwork. Otherwise I would spend all my time dealing with him. The vet techs think he is just the cutest damn thing until he opens his mouth. Once in the exam room and away from potential playmates, all is smooth. He is a great dog in all other ways, but the car vomiting and vet screaming are horrendous.
Good on you for not giving up on your difficult pet.
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Regarding the carsickness, I'm not sure what to suggest. My last schnauzer was the same way. The only thing that worked was keeping him crated (for stability) and placing the crate in the far back of our mini-van. He would be OK for trips around town, but we could never take him anywhere for long distances.
Schnauzer vocalizations can sure be loud, can't they? Even with the issues I have with Shelby, I still think that schnauzers are the smartest, most adorable breed of dog ever.
Great story.
Greg
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As Barkley only barfs when in the car, I'm pretty sure it is nerves/car sickness in his case. I've never been into pure bred dogs due to all the genetic health problems breeding engenders, but the two schnauzers I have now were on their way to the sure death of the town pound and so I said yes. They've been excellent companions.
Hopefully it is only Shelby's omnivorous eating habits that are tuning her up.
LT - I'm sure that Barkley's carsickness is merely from intolerance to that type of travel. Pancreatitis is endocrine-system based. I do hope that Shelby can be managed effectively, if that's what she has. Ideally, I hope the dewormer does the trick! Give your two guys an ear scratch for me. :)
ybmagpye - Yes, I'd heard that advice, too, but never felt that I could do it without giving myself a nervous breakdown. Now that I've had this success, I'm inclined to give it a try.
gracielou - Ah, yes - Cesar is fine! Such a commanding presence. I'm thinking of sending this to him as a success story. What do you think?
Why is it that vets are so much more compassionate toward there patients than most "real" doctors? As far as dogs that eat everything, my sister has a basset like that. He walk by the covered cat box and grabs a "snickers bar" without breaking stride. Just thought I'd share that with you.
Faith - Thanks for stopping by!
Michael - Ew! "Snickers bar"! You know that I'm never going to eat a real one again after that image, don't you? Thanks for your kind words.
I work with dogs (I have a grooming business on the side of my regular job) and I can't imagine life without Cesar Millan. He's a genius! Sounds like you did an excellent job!
As for your dog eating everything, I wonder if Shelby has PICA. My puppy was licking wet paint and eating all kinds of weird things. The vet said his diet was perfectly fine, but still wanted him to try vitamins in case something was lacking. Of course, it's debatable about whether PICA is a nutritional or psychological issue, but you might want to look into that.
Drink an extra Margarita for me- my dogs have given me an awful day.
I will offer one recommendation. Many dogs experience motion sickness. We would never know except for the barf. Try travel, when necessary, on a totally empty stomach, like nighttime feeding will afford you.
Finally, what is it with Bassets and snickers. My Bassett, Barney, loved his own snickers and anyone elses. Barney now lives in the country with a pack of snicker lovers. LOL
Thanks for the compliments on both my writing and my dog training ability! :)
Krissi - It's funny that you mentioned PICA. I think of that often, picturing pregnant women eating clay and laundry starch. Her edibles are just that odd. I forgot to ask the vet about it but I will keep it in mind if she continues to be sick after the worming process is completed. Did the vitamins help your puppy? I don't have a lot of confidence in today's dog food but when I was cooking for Shelby, I didn't feel that that was nutritionally complete either.
rterrymcintyre - I'm so glad that you stopped by and that you learned something. Isn't that a great benefit of Open Salon? We can learn so much from the people on here. I'm glad to hear that you had good success with Yola using the Dog Whisperer's techniques. I imagine there are a lot of dog owners who could benefit from his teaching. Hope your knee is doing well. Knee replacement is tough! That's too funny about Barney and his "snickers" cravings.
I wish you the best of luck with little Cujo and 'yay!' for perfect blood work!! It's really difficult to find the right diet for dogs, I feel your concern and frustration. It sounds like you're on the right track though- you're doing your best and that's the most you can do!
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MB - Oh can I relate! Everyone in the house is so paranoid about leaving anything anywhere that Shelby can get it. She's even climbed up on the kitchen table and gotten things! I have to use covered trash cans and keep bedroom doors shut to keep her from getting stuff that she shouldn't (used chewing gum, hair brush fuzz, toilet paper cardboard, etc.) It's an ongoing challenge.
David - So nice to see you here! I remember those days when my boys were very young. There was barely time for a shower, let alone fussing with pets. It's a good thing cats are so independent. Right back at you with an "eww" for the snickers bars.
Thanks for the trip; and I hope Shelby will learn more about your being the pack leader, from Cesar, via you. An aside: I no longer have a dog, three cats, no dog; but I watched Cesar's program by accident one afternoon and I am hooked! For all his good and often fantastic success, I think I was most impressed when some yippy little mean dog took a chunk out of his hand and he just kept on as if nothing had happened! Who can do that?
Good job, Lisa.
Monte
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You make a compelling argument for having a dog. I have a cat who herks up hairballs constantly and his dinner occasionally. We've been to two vets, both of whom have concluded "looks like you've got a puker on your hands."
Jimmy - "Nuts" is probably an understatement for Shelby, but when it's just us at home with her, she really is sweet and well-behaved.
Thank you both for stopping by to read and comment!
Proud of Shelby is a given, but extremely proud of you.
When I come through the front door after being gone more than 5 minutes, mine (Chewey) runs to me, literally with a smile on his face. For some reason, he curls his top lip when he greets me and looks just like he's smiling.
I think we are twins. Not only to I have an eating disorder--I eat wood and barf--I also do an excellent Cujo imitation at the vet's.