Sometimes, no matter how badly we wish for things to be different from how they are, the time comes when we’re forced to confront the reality of the situation with both eyes open. Resisting the truth tends to eventually hit us squarely in the jaw, like a knock-out punch, laying us out completely. Moments like this make me feel as if God or the Universe is saying, “Look, this is what you need to do. Since you can’t seem to recognize it, I’m going to create circumstances that force you to take action.”
That is exactly what happened to me.
My dog Shelby has been a broken dog from the beginning, and managing her aggression was a full-time job. The day after we brought her home as a puppy, we knew that there was something not quite right about her when she snarled and growled at the worker in the drive-up window at McDonald’s. It’s a bit of territorial aggression, we were told. Don’t take her to drive-up windows or you’ll unwittingly reinforce it.
Two weeks later, at 12 weeks of age, she snarled, growled, and lunged at a visitor who came to our home. I’d never seen a little puppy growl at anyone before. Maybe the woman frightened her, we were told. It sounds like she has a bit of fear aggression. Later I would learn that deep belly-growling like this in puppies under 20 weeks of age is a warning sign for psychotic aggression. Psychotic aggression can never be cured.
At 16 weeks of age, we were advised to contact a professional trainer in an attempt to better manage Shelby’s aggression. Upon evaluating Shelby, the trainer said, You should contact the breeder and look into returning her. I did not want to return her. I wanted to fix her. I wanted to make her like people. I wanted her to be happy and loving and normal. As it turns out, what I wanted was impossible.
Three months of training with a professional did not fix her. I stopped inviting people over. I stopped taking her places. When we wanted to go camping, I tried tranquilizing her so that we could take her with us. The medication gave her glassy eyes but did nothing for her aggression. We stopped going camping.
When I needed work done at my home, I would keep her crated. Still, she would bark psychotically and lunge and gnash against the inside of her crate while anyone was in the house. It sounds like she’s protective of your home. I stopped scheduling work to be done on my home. We stopped all contact with people outside of our family. It was too difficult trying to explain why Shelby behaved that way.
For two years, my husband and three children and I altered our lives to accommodate Shelby’s many issues. In exasperation, I tried to find a new home for her; she wouldn’t let anyone near her, choosing instead to chase them away with her snarling and growling and psychotic barking. I tried to give her to a rescue group. They refused her, saying she was too aggressive to re-home. They recommended euthanasia. A rescue group, who takes unwanted dogs and places them in no-kill shelters, recommended euthanasia for Shelby.
I called my vet again last month after Shelby had two more aggressive incidents which seemed to indicate that her behavior was worsening. It seems as if she’s moved beyond her fear aggression issues and is now exhibiting dominant aggression behavior. What can I do to get her to stop? You can try medication, such as Prozac, along with behavior modification. Here’s a phone number for an Animal Behaviorist. There are no guarantees, but this is one more thing you can try.
While trying to save the $300 needed for the Animal Behaviorist at the same time that my husband became unemployed, things began to unravel dramatically with Shelby.
I’ve always said that Shelby never snapped or nipped at anyone in my immediate my family. I could no longer say this after my son’s 9th birthday. My happy son Evan came home from school and attempted to give me a hug. Shelby lunged at him, snapping at his face. I corrected her and asked Evan to try again as I closely watched her behavior. She did it a second time. Now she’d advanced to preventing my own children from touching me.
A few days later, while muzzled, thankfully, she aggressively attacked a child; a child who had done nothing more than walk into the room. He wasn’t running. He wasn’t being loud. He didn’t even look at her. It was horrifying to witness as Shelby lunged at him without warning, jumping against him, barking, growling, and attempting to bite his face through the muzzle.
To make a horrific situation even worse, Shelby seemed unable to forget about this child. She went after him again after my husband let her outside to go to the bathroom. Upon coming back into the house, she tried to hunt him down, like a predator going after her prey. This time, he was safely behind a closed door.
This experience dashed all hopes of Shelby’s rehabilitation. She was now officially considered to be a dangerous dog.
That night, while feeling completely out of options with our dog, my husband and I watched a DVD that a friend had sent to me on Dog Aggression hosted by Ian Dunbar, a noted dog expert. He advised that preventing aggression in dogs happens in two ways: taking care in breeding to ensure that the dog isn’t genetically damaged, and providing adequate training. Aggression that’s been learned through poor upbringing can be managed with patience and training. Aggression that’s the result of irresponsible breeding, such as in Shelby’s case, cannot be undone.
This information, along with the attack on the child, sealed Shelby’s fate. Since I hadn’t been able to make the tough decision, my husband did it for me. He had Shelby put to sleep last Friday. If he’d had any doubt about his decision, Shelby’s actions made sure to erase it. She remained true to her inner Madame Cujo until the end, lunging and barking viciously at two children and their father who happened to be in the parking lot at the same time she was.
Is there a Rainbow Bridge for mean dogs?
I hope that you are finally peaceful now, Shelby.
Comments
I hope you're okay. Really, you did the right thing.
I'm sorry about the trauma in your home and also for your loss. I'm sure this was a difficult yet, correct decision.
The rescue organization to which I belong, has no issues with ending an aggressive dog's life if the behavior can't be changed.
We sometimes no very little about the histories of the dogs that come to rescue.
I don't know if this helps or hurts. I understand the difficult feelings you and your family are experiencing. Be glad the nightmare is over and your home can get back to normal.
ou'll hear no criticism from me. I went through two aggressive dogs in a row. The first a rescue, I think his aggression was learned. It rarely popped up, just once in a while when he was startled; he'd snap and bite, then take an immediate submissive pose. We worked and worked with him on it, thought we'd fixed it... then he bit my daughter.
We thought we would do better the second time, getting a puppy from a breeder we knew well. Greater Swiss Mountain Dog - we got him at 8 weeks, he was 45 pounds by 12 weeks. My story could be yours, down to the belly growls and lunging, but we returned him to the breeder at 16 weeks because *I* had grown afraid of him. Breeder turned out to be a total jerk about it, too - so much for working with someone I knew and trusted.
It is such a painful decision, but there are so many non-aggressive dogs out there being put down daily because there are not enough homes. There is nothing moral in keeping a dog who is unhappy and a danger to everyone around him, while happy, well adjusted dogs are sent to that rainbow bridge for a lack of a loving home.
And I've no doubt I'll see that first dog waiting for me some day. Putting him down after he bit my daughter still brings tears to my eyes. He was an awesome dog... except when he wasn't. I hope to meet the Swissie again some day, too - I have no idea if he made it in another home, or if he was eventually put down.
Jess - Thank you. We had to keep in mind that no matter what we felt about Shelby, she'd become a danger to others. It was only a matter of time before she'd seriously hurt someone.
BBE - Thank you. I agree that the breeder was despicable. I wonder if the dogs were inbred. P. S. No monkey finger? :)
Sheepy - It's difficult to have so many conflicting emotions over a dog. Even though she was aggressive, she was still a part of our family and we did have good moments with her. I guess there comes a time when being a responsible pet owner involves making some tough decisions. Thanks for the compassion.
Mama - I didn't even think about birth injuries. The people who bred Shelby's parents weren't professionals. God knows if they even had veterinary assistance for the birth. What a painful lesson I've learned. I appreciate you sharing your story of Jeremiah.
WalkAwayHappy - I appreciate your perspective, since you work for a rescue. It is a tragic situation. I hope that it can at least serve as an alert to anyone who might be selecting a dog. Some issues can't be fixed and have horrible consequences.
Undertow - Thank you. It's so quiet and peaceful in the house now. I miss having a dog, but it's nice to not have the constant Cujo behavior to deal with (she even behaved that way when she'd see birds outside.)
Ablonde - Your comment summed it up perfectly. Thank you.
PADeitschGrrl - Oh my! TWO aggressive dogs in a row? That's my greatest fear; that I'll never be able to have a normal dog. If I were to get another dog, and that dog turned out to be aggressive, I wouldn't be able to handle it. Everyone tells me that this type of aggression is rare. I hope they're right. Do you have a dog now? I need to seek out stories of sweet and friendly dogs. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Thanks for sharing what must have been a hard story to tell.
xoxo
Is there some way to can make the existence of that breeder harder?
Hugs to you for your compassion in giving poor Shelby two years of effort and heart... and also for your courage in posting this painful story. Hope you are finding peace as well.
It's a shame but it happens I guess.
This is another great post from you. Your posts are consistently excellent.
You most certainly did the right thing.
rated for your wisdom
We can never fix the broken things--whether they're people or pets. We can only rearrange our lives, trimming away at them, trying to contain the situation, reduce collateral damage, minimize shame/judgement from the outside, and keep hoping (against all evidence) that it will somehow get better.
It's amazing to read of all you did for Shelby. I'd compare it with the "codependent" behaviors of people who do the same for broken humans.
I want you to find another dog when you're ready, at a shelter. One that walks right up to the chain link and tries to lick your face. There are so many of them. Mine did. I laid eyes on him and he pulled himself, miserably, out of the little elevated sweater-dryer-type bed they'd given him, and he walked right up to me, not quite looking at me but obviously lonely. He stood there at the wire fence looking away from me, but not moving, pressed up against the gate while I scratched his chest through the chain link with one finger. He did not move for 5 solid minutes.
You'll know your good dog when you meet him/her.
But you've been a trouper with Shelby, and like you, I hope she's at peace.
I signed up for puppy training classes yesterday. I'll be going weekly to take my 5 month old Joe for training to get socialized etc. He also growls at men/boys - turns out his infancy was dysfunctional - so I have to socialize the heck out of him and hope that his breeding was good. Rated.
If there is such a thing as that Rainbow Bridge, you will meet her there someday, and she'll greet you and thank you.
And Yes, even troubled pups go to heaven. Big hugs and wishing you and yours and Shelby, peace.
I've never had a bad dog but my parents had a bad cat (husband and I both have scars) who was apparently wrong from the get-go, since his mother refused to care for him. She knew something we didn't. And a lady I used to ride with had a bad horse, just an evil mare who would sincerely try to kill people once in a while. The mare was ditsy and possibly brain damaged in other ways, I think. Seems like there are sociopaths in all species.
When my first dog, Cooper, first bit, long before we had kids, we almost gave up on him. But we couldn't do it, We worked and worked with him. The incidents were few, far between, and minor (small nick on my husband's arm from the first time about a month after we got him; tore my father's coat snapping at him about two years later.) They were very random, there was no clear trigger other than startlement. After my daughter was born, though, we had an experience with him showing serious fear toward an older child and we began to freak out. I sought help from an online forum associated with a pet sanctuary, fearing that we'd have to give him up and if we did he would definitely be put down because he'd bitten already.
The people on that forum ripped me six ways to sunday. They called me a puppy murderer, every name in the book. They told me I was unworthy, despicable, and they begged me never ever to get another dog because I could clearly never treat one with the respect and responsibility it was due and would obviously wind up murdering it when I got bored with, too. All because I said that I was at wits end, didn't know if we could safely keep him, and was hoping the sanctuary could help me because if we gave him up anywhere else, he'd be put down. They said I was threatening *them* with murdering my dog if they didn't find room in their sanctuary for him. (And here's the really childish part - after ripping me to shreds in their forum, they banned my IP so I couldn't respond. I couldn't even *read* their filth, until I rebooted my router to get a new IP.)
Because I couldn't bear to send him off to be killed, and those sanctuary people were so cruel, we kept him. And he big my daughter a year later. Thankfully, his snap at her face left only a nick in her upper lip, and the scar is very nearly invisible.
The experience jaded me more toward "dog people" than it did toward dogs. I've done all the right things - rescues and reputable breeders rather than pet store dogs, hiring trainers and consulting with behaviorists, researching until my face was blue. If after all that, I'm still an irresponsible puppy murderer, well... maybe there's a reason why so many people go to the pet stores and back yard breeders.
Yeesh, I sound embittered, don't I? LOL Really, I'm not that much. Still disgusted at those people and a little jaded about "the system", but really eager to get our Berner whenever one becomes available.
Anyway, I think that sanctuary thing was the only time I ever sat in front of my computer bawling. Ever since then, I've been vocal about making sure people who have to make these hard decisions are treated with respect and kindness from my quarter, at least.
I do believe that somethings are broken from the beginning and that there is no amount of love/medicine that can change that. I've been told that yes, the Rainbow Bridge is open for meanies.
I regret that it did not have a happy ending.
You did all you could to give Shelby a good life, and she had a much better life than she would have if you had not been part of it.
You have nothing to reproach yourself for.
I hope life provides you with some rainbows very soon.
Would you mind sharing the breed?
Also, is there anything that a puppy breeder can do to minimize this sort of thing? i.e. socialization, etc.
Absolutely there is a rainbow bridge for badly wired dogs. May Shelby be there to welcome my Micah when his turn comes.
(thumbified with huge hugs to you and your family.)
i hope you do get another dog. you sound like a conscientious and devoted parent and owner, and there are not enough of you. i don't know if there is a rainbow bridge for mean dogs, but shelby was pretty lucky to have someone with your patience and dedication.
I second Verbal Remedy's suggestion (or third maybe, I haven't read all the comments.) Look for you next dog at the shelter. The animals there have already been checked for overt signs of aggression and the dog for you will let you know. I have two absolutely wonderful and sweet Siberian Huskies from two different shelters and I honestly believe they also know that they've been given a second chance, and are grateful for it.
Be well.
This dog was OK for a while and then attacked another dog at the kennel where we both work, resulting in very serious injury to the attacked dog. My colleague was faced with the same choice you were with Shelby and after much agonizing had to make the same decision.
Shelby's on the Rainbow Bridge, and being a believer in a just afterlife I believe she's found the peace that eluded her in life. You are not a bad person for making this hard choice, Lisa. You are very good person for going above and beyond in trying to help Shelby.
I believe there is a Rainbow Bridge for every living thing.... Now Shelby is much more peaceful and romping with other doggies too!
I work with dogs who bite people every week. When owners are even half as dedicated as you are, we usually manage to turn them around. Some dogs, however, never will turn around. It sure sound like Shelby was one of those dogs. Belly growls from a 12 week old puppy are like armed robbery committed by an 8-year-old child. Regardless of environment, puppies whose behavior might conceivably be called normal just don't do it.
Nobody who hasn't lived with a seriously aggressive dog can understand just how difficult it is to manage such a dog safely. I have lived with such dogs. I even kept one of those dogs that I knew would never reach a point where I could fully trust him around people he didn't know very well. He wasn't as difficult a case as Shelby, but even so, I doubt that I would have kept him if I had children.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Deciding to put a dog down, no matter how completely you understand that it's the right thing to do, is a horrific decision to make. It's doubly so for those of us willing to go to extreme lengths for our pets.
I know that there's not much that can ease the pain this causes right now. I just want to state one more time that you did right by Shelby at every single step. She was lucky to have such a committed and compassionate owner.
God bless,
Monte
Continuing to keep a dangerous dog, especially one that had attacked a child could have been a litigation nightmare.
I hope Shelby is happier and calmer, now, and I think and hope there must be some after life for dogs that were troubled in life.
But when dogs start attacking and lunging at children and it doesn't stop what you husband did was the best thing all around.
Some dogs just have it in their genes and no amount of help will reverse it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
This truly deserved an EP!!!
Of course there is. She wasn't a mean dog because she wanted to be mean.
Your husband did what needed doing, not only for you all but for Shelby as well. She could not continue to be around people and behave that way. You did everything you possibly could to save her.
This righteously sucks. Good thoughts and prayers headed your way, Lisa.
I'm dealing every day with the prospect of ending a beloved dog's life. She's 18, she's blind, mostly deaf and has a few other minor medical problems. She's started having ugly, long seizures in the early morning hours. Every feeding is a challenge to find what she'll consent to eat. (I'll be making her a meat loaf later today.) I pray she'll go on her own terms but I know I'll probably have to make the decision for her and I'm fine with that - intellectually. She's still happy and active enough and she. She won't ever suffer. She's been a good and faithful dog and had a much longer and healthier life than I ever could have expected. I know she takes way more time, energy and money that a wise person would put into keeping her around what can only be a short time longer. (Something I've been thinking for at least 4 years now ...) Still, every time her deterioration takes another step I am wracked with pain and anxiety thinking that the time has come. For a dog as young as Shelby, I can only imagine your pain at giving up hope.
For your next dog (and there must be a next dog) I'd suggest a rescue from a foster home, even one with children around the ages of your own - that way you'll know for sure the dog fits the kind of environment you'll provide.
Spud - Oh yes...I am so, so thankful that she didn't physically harm my children or someone else's (thank God for that muzzle!) I know that there is a sweet dog out there needing love and I look forward to finding him/her.
MB - It was actually harder NOT writing this. My first inclination was to write about other things in an attempt to get my mind off of Shelby. I couldn't do it. Her story needed to be resolved.
Mary - Thank you for your support and for recognizing what a difficult ordeal it was.
Ann - XOXO back at you.
The dogs looked differently (the male was unusually small for a mini schnauzer and was silver, but the female was very large for a mini schnauzer and was white) but I wondered if their dogs were inbred. I asked the question and was told NO but I've since read that inbreeding can cause aggression. The father dog was extremely friendly but they wouldn't let us meet the mother dog until we insisted (should have been a huge red flag right there.) She was very unfriendly; not growling or snarling, but just really didn't want anything to do with meeting us. The father dog would have gone home with us if he'd been able. A trainer told me that the mother's personality has a greater influence on puppy temperament than the father's. If a mother is fearful or timid or aggressive, her puppies will be, too.
I made a terrible mistake by accepting a dog from this type of irresponsible "backyard breeder". I hope that they are no longer breeding dogs. They told us that day that those puppies were their second litter but the mother was getting too old to breed any longer. I hope they kept their word.
Aaron - I do have good memories of her. She was adorable, with these darling floppy ears. She could convey every expression possible with those ears depending upon how she'd position them. (When she was being Madame Cujo, they'd be flat against her head. Not so cute then.) She was very playful and taught herself to be able to play ball alone. She'd throw the ball in the air with her mouth, then run to catch it, then do it all again. She loved all of her toys. I could see the good in her, which I suppose is why I kept trying so hard to fix her.
Duane - Uh-oh. I hope that your dog doesn't turn out to be like Shelby. Sending good thoughts your way. Thanks very much for the compliment on my writing. :)
ladyfarmerjed - Yes, guilt from knowing that she'd harmed someone would be much worse than the sadness that I'm feeling now. Thank you.
Verbal - Your comment made me cry like a baby, but I truly appreciate it because I know that you understand. Spot-on, too, with the codependency parallels. I'm not sure when I'll be ready to try again with another dog, but I look forward to that day when one finds me.
David - Seeing your name in my comments is always such a joy. Thank you for recognizing the difficulty in keeping people safe from her. I guess my insurance background has served me well: expecting the unexpected and preparing for it. Your support means the world.
Owl - :)
Marcela - I like your vision of Dog Heaven. :)
Mr. Mustard - Her aggression was definitely escalating. She used to lunge at people and then back away quickly, as if she was trying to push them away. When she started lunging at them and not backing away, it was clear that we were dealing with something way different.
mamoore - It was hard. Thankfully my children understood more than I expected that they would.
Faith - Thank you, my friend.
Deborah - You're doing the right thing with Joe. Expose him to everyone and everything that you can. In my research, the issue with men can be effectively managed. I hope you'll post some pictures soon. I'll bet he's growing bigger every day!
Jeanette - You know, I hadn't thought that Shelby might have been just as tortured by her behavior as we were. What fear, anxiety, and turmoil she must have felt all of the time! Thank you for showing me a different perspective.
angrymom - I am still thanking God for that muzzle.
Lady Miko - Thank you so much. XO
Allie - I always wopndered if the Dog Whisperer could have helped but he only sees people in the Los Angeles area. I'm on the opposite coast. In reality, though, I think that Shelby was genetically damaged. You're probably right; sociopaths aren't reserved solely for the human species.
JK - I appreciate you stopping by to offer your support even though it must have been very difficult, given the subject matter. Thank you.
LandP - XOXO
PADeitschGrrl - Yikes! You were treated that way by people who ran an animal sanctuary? Sadly, some people are quick to offer judgment when advice and understanding would be much more useful. Good luck with your Bernese Mountain Dog. I hope you'll post about him when he arrives.
seamus55 - That's such a shame. It's never easy even when it's the right thing to do.
emma - The guilt is lessening but there's still plenty of sad to go around. Thank you for stopping by. :)
marcelle - Hopefully the meanies are no longer mean by the time they get there. Thanks for stopping by.
Diana - I hope you're right. I hope that something good came out of this experience. Thank you for your good wishes.
perdidochas - Shelby was a miniature schnauzer. I don't want my experience to taint people's impressions of the breed, though. She was my third mini schnauzer and the other two were completely wonderful and loving. In this case, the breeders (which I shouldn't even call them since they were just two people who decided to breed their pet schnauzers) should have left the breeding up to professionals. Thanks for stopping by.
Julie - Thank you! I like your wording of "badly-wired."
bobbot - Thank you; before these comments, I hadn't considered that it must have been quite unpleasant for her to be the way she was. Hopefully she's now at peace.
Jodi - Your supportive comments about Shelby have always given me much comfort. I truly appreciate your support. I look forward to seeing little Ouija grow up (is Monday the day??)
Lisa - XOXO
Sandra - Yes, the worst part was having no other option. Thank you for your kindness.
Fabflamingo - Just looking at your avatar cheers me up!
grif (who looks suspiciously like a rogue Kerry) - This is the best line ever: "Life is just really sloppy a lot of the time." I guess all we can do is just muddle through the sloppy parts.
catnmus - Oh my! I wonder what could have caused your sister's dog to suddenly be so aggressive toward you. I'm sure there's a large part of their behavior that we'll never fully understand.
Lea - XOXO
bstrangely - Thank you for the compliments, but I was just trying to do the right thing for Shelby. I do hope that if I get another dog that s/he doesn't require quite so much dedication from me!
Seymour35 - Yes, when the kids are in danger, it's a whole 'nother story.
janie - XOXO
Austin - Your co-worker's story is heartbreaking. Hopefully that dog and Shelby are playing together someone over the Bridge.
Aunt Shelle - You're very perceptive. Looking at the situation now with a clearer head, I realize that we were in a sense imprisoned by our dog. We had dramatically altered our lives. I'm glad that there's been a resolution, even though I wish it would have a better outcome.
1WomansVu - I just hope that they're no longer breeding dogs (read my earlier comment to BBE on the "breeder's" backstory.)
CBerg - Oh my! I can't imagine dealing with three challenging dogs. Maybe now that your ringleader is out of the picture, you can make some progress with the other two.
MAWBlogging - You know, when I would refer to her as "Madame Cujo," I think people thought I was kidding. I wasn't!
Rance - I'm sorry that you've never known the pleasure and love that a good dog can provide. Maybe some day you'll understand.
Whisper - I cannot adequately convey what your comment means to me. You are someone who works with dogs like Shelby every day yet you realize that there are limits as to which behaviors can be fixed. Your comparison of deep-belly growling in a 12 week old puppy to an 8-year-old child committing armed robbery is much appreciated and will be helpful for us to move beyond this. Thank you so much for taking time to read Shelby's story and to leave such thoughtful comments. Thanks, too, for the many dogs that you're able to help. Much appreciation to you.
jen - I was thinking of you and your dog after my last post and hoping that I'd be able to report a better outcome. :(
Sally - XOXO
Sao Kay - Thanks for sticking with me through all of my Madame Cujo posts. :)
Monte - You're always such a comfort. Thank you.
Shiral - Litigation would have been a very real possibility. It would be hard to explain to someone who'd been injured by her why I'd kept such a dangerous dog.
Luis - Aw, you are so kind! Thank you. :)
Bill S. - More tears! Thank you for your support and such lovely, lovely words.
Cartouche - Thanks for the hugs. Can't have too many of those. :)
nerd cred - Thinking of "setting Shelby free" as you suggest is a comforting image. Thank you for that. I'm sorry that you are finding yourself faced with a similar decision, although fortunately for very different reasons. Your dog is 18? Living to that age is practically unheard of these days so you must have done something very right. What breed is s/he?
Before I got Shelby, I had a beloved male schnauzer named Schultz. He was super healthy for years (he never even had puppy worms!) until he ate an entire bag of Hershey's chocolates that he dug out of my visiting grandmother's suitcase. He survived eating all of that chocolate, but shortly after that, he developed diabetes and pancreatitis. I used to give him insulin shots every day but he still got worse, first with blindness, and then with Cushing's Disease. The blindness was so sad. He was constantly walking into things, falling off the porch, falling down the stairs, etc. Most heartbreaking of all was that when he'd try to play (he always loved his toys and would play like a puppy), he'd toss the toy up in the air, but then couldn't find it again when it landed. He'd give up and go lay down. It was so sad to watch. When I finally had to put him down because nothing more could be done for him, and he was literally wasting away, he seemed to be pleading with me to just do it already. He was so weary. Most likely, your dog will let you know when it's time, too. I still tear up thinking about him, but I don't regret the decision for a minute. I KNOW he's at the Rainbow Bridge. :)
Jimmy - So nice to see you! I've missed you. Thanks for stopping by.
Lula is a mini American Eskimo Dog, often known as a Spitz (now showing in my profile). The best thing I think I did for her was to give her the opportunity for intense exercise all her life. She's 14 inches at the withers, 14" from withers to base of tail, and almost every day for 10 years she ran with the big dogs and kept up with them for an hour, taking 4 or 5 steps to every one of theirs, up and down hills in often rough terrain. She looks quite frou-frou but she's tough as nails. When she started to go blind (cataracts) I considered surgery but thought she was too old and wouldn't survive long enough to justify either the cost or the trauma. I was wrong. Knowing she'd spend some time blind I tried to keep her her as independent as possible - the big thing was jumping out of the car on her own. She kept up doing that until she was quite blind. When I saw it got really scary for her, I took over. It was the same with the stairs in the house but it's only over the past winter that she stopped taking the 4 concrete steps out the back door on her own.
Other than that she's been reluctant to change levels or even textures underfoot for some time which turns out to be a safety measure. She sniffs the ground carefully and can tell when the level is changing. There is some level of steepness she won't attempt - she will take the long hill at the dog park but not the short, steep one at the front of our yard. She has learned to play a gentle game of "bumper cars" and gets around well with what amounts to just nose touches on whatever might be in her path. I don't get to stand around talking at the dog park anymore, I stay close to her and it's all I can do to keep up with her.
I hear of more and more dogs living past 15. I had a husky mix who lived to be 16 without any special care and a Great Pyr mix who lived to 14 and was actually fairly healthy when he died. (Another too long story.) I once talked to a man who swore his German Shepherd lived to 23 - though he says he carried the dog everywhere he went for the last several years.
The first day I got her, brought to me by my daughter (the dog who demonstrated for me that college kids shouldn't get dogs), I came into the house from dinner on the patio to find Lula standing on top of the refrigerator having polished off 1/2 a chocolate cake and a dozen chocolate chip cookies. (And the 2 big dogs gazing up enviously.) She spent the rest of the evening running top speed with said daughter in the yard, brown streaming out both ends. Another time, same daughter was visiting, got groceries, left the bag on the pantry floor and went out again. Lula got 1/2 a 12 oz. bag of chocolate chips out of that. Another long walk, long run, twin brown streams. The second one was a good 12 years agom before I knew how toxic chocolate is for dogs. Like I said, tough as nails. When (if) we go for euthanasia, her final treat will be chocolate. She loves it.
But don't get me started. ;)
Scruffus and Pamela - Thank you both for your suppport. It really helps.
FromtheMidwest - Is the feral cat you mention the same one you have now named Chalk? If so, that truly is a great outcome! I appreciate your understanding about Shelby.
BadbadCNA - I am so sorry for you. What an awful chain of events with an even more awful outcome. I wish healing and peace to both you and your partner.
kittwarn - Thank you for the lovely image of Shelby romping happily, all healed.
Monique - Thank you for your comforting words. :)