Guys, I get it. You’re looking for a little somethin-somethin, and your local bar scene just isn’t delivering the selection of quality females to which you believe you’re entitled. You decide to try the Internet for picking up women but need a venue that’s low cost and that gives you the greatest return on investment. None of that “swipe left” bullshit. You think, I’ll try Words with Friends (WWF). It’s free, you can meet women all over the world, and once you’ve trapped (er, challenged) them to a game, the women pretty much HAVE to talk to you. It’s perfect!
Before you slip into your sweatpants and pop open that cold Budweiser, anticipating a fun night of stalking, er, chatting with women, here are few pointers to ensure your greatest success:
1. Be mindful of your avatar photo. This is the equivalent of making a good first impression and will be the first thing about you that she sees. I know you’re super proud of your penis, but drawing a smiley face on it and making that your in-game photo will definitely cause women to decline your game invitations. DEFINITELY.
2. Also be mindful of your in-game name. I know you think “bigdick10” is clever, but women will not find it quite so enchanting.
3. Look for women within your same skill level. Trust me on this one, guys. If your average word score is 6, and hers is 23, your gig will be up. She’s going to know that your intentions are for something other than some fun word-play.
4. Use the chat function wisely. Look, I know you’re eager. There are SO MANY WOMEN TO TALK TO! Still, you need to pace yourself or you will scare them off. Don’t immediately start chatting with them. Instead, try playing the game awhile before peppering them with personal questions.
5. If you choose to chat, stick to game-talk. Compliment her plays and word choices. Be witty and interesting. Such banter will make the game enjoyable for her, and won’t chase her away before you have a chance to ask her to send you pictures of herself.
6. DON’T ASK HER TO SEND YOU PICTURES OF HERSELF. Just don’t. What are you, some kind of pervy creep?
7. Take rejection gracefully. If you ignore the advice above, and insist on asking personal questions or demanding photos (I warned you, you fucking asshole), DO NOT automatically become enraged and call her names. She will block you.
8. When you’ve been blocked by a woman, do not create another name so that you can challenge her to a game for the sole purpose of calling her a bitch because she rejected you. She knows it’s you (your photo is the same, duh) and she will decline your game invitation.
9. If your sole purpose of playing WWF is to hunt women, then don’t play. The women who play WWF are smart (smarter than you, Mr. 6-point-average-word-score) and can tell what your intentions are.
