Bailey gets her groom on

Bailey gets her groom on 

 

 

Does this look like a creature who cares about foofy beauty treatments?

 

Last week, I learned that the woman who’s been grooming my dogs for the past fourteen years is no longer able to groom Bailey.  Apparently decades of grooming dogs has taken a toll on her back, and she’s no longer able to lift dogs of Bailey’s size.

Of course this news comes at the time when I’ve finally managed to save up the $80 grooming fee and when Bailey’s coat is so overgrown she looks like a mutant chia pet.  Whenever she moves, a fine cloud of dog hair floats along behind her before finally merging into tumbleweeds of blonde fur upon hitting the floor.  This dog needs a haircut and she needs it now.

Like it or not, I need to find a new dog groomer. 

After googling “dog groomer” and reviewing websites, I made a few phone calls. The first two were no longer in business, the third was not able to receive messages (!!!), and the fourth, while farther from my home than I'd have preferred, seemed to be a suitable candidate. 

 

"Amber," the woman on the phone, sounded welcoming and knowledgeable as she reviewed rates and policies with me. 

I set up an appointment to have Bailey groomed in a few days.  Amber mentioned that they also have additional services available for purchase.

            “You can also get a relaxing mango facial," Amber offered. 

Hmm... my skin has been a mess lately and I could stand some relaxing.  A facial sounds nice. 

            "Your pet will enjoy the soothing, tropical scent.  Can I set one up for Bailey?”

Wait...they have facials for dogs?  Why would a dog need a facial?  Do they get stress acne like I do? 

            “No thank you,” I responded.  “I’ll just take the grooming appointment.”

            “But our customers love it and can't wait for their next one!” Amber was clearly sniffing too much doggy shampoo.

           “Um, I did mention that Bailey is a dog, right?”

 Amber was undettered in her enthusiasm. “We also have blueberry nail soaks…”

             “She likes to sniff crotches and lick her own butt.”

             “...which help to soften the nails and leave them fragrant.  Wouldn’t Bailey love that?”

             “I don't think Bailey cares much about fragrant nails.  She sniffs the cat’s butt, too.”

             "OK.  Well, how about a nice massage to melt those cares away?"

             "Now that's something I could really use!"

Amber giggled.  "I'm sorry.  At this time, our massages are only for our canine guests.  Shall I schedule one for Bailey?"

I looked down at Bailey, who was sitting expectantly at my feet, smiling her big goofy dog smile.  She's clearly happy just to be alive, and not bothered at all by acne, or stress, or non-blueberry-scented toenails.

            "Actually, we're good.  Bailey's good.  Just the haircut, please."

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my dog out for a walk in the field.  There are rodent holes to sniff and pee-mail to read.  These are the things that Bailey truly  loves. 

No spa treatment required.