Friday, January 31, 2014

The family that's sick together sticks together...or something!


It’s like a houseguest who refuses to leave.  Over the past six weeks, four members of my family have been sick with the flu.  


My youngest son is the one who first brought The Crud to us.  I don’t know who gave it to him, but when I find out, that person is definitely off my Christmas card list.  


Evan never had the flu before and couldn’t believe how he physically couldn’t get out of bed for a week.  I took care of him, though, bringing him plenty of fluids to drink and whatever food he felt he could tolerate eating.  In the process, he learned that the IDEA of a sick day is much more fun than the REALITY of a sick day.  Even Algebra class is preferable to being sick in bed with a runaway fever and teeth-chattering chills for days on end.


Two weeks later, it was my turn, even though caring for a sick kid for a week should have earned me a free illness pass - or, at the very least, sainthood.  


The flu struck me down on a Monday.  Interestingly, the same kid I’d taken care of a couple of weeks earlier never even popped his head inside my room to see if I was alive.  Kids...you give them life and they end up leaving you alone to become a flu casualty.  


Thankfully, my husband was more responsible.  He made sure that I had soup and tea and whatever else I could actually get down which wasn’t a lot.  Not many foods sounded appetizing, and of the few that did, the food didn’t taste right.  


On the positive side, the flu is a heckuva diet plan.  Once the week was done, I’d lost ten pounds.  I can hear the infomercial now for the New! Exciting! Flu2014 Diet:  Lose your appetite!  Sleep for a week!  Cough until you pee!  Lose ten pounds while trying not to die!  Can Weight Watchers promise any of that?  I don’t think so.


The flu’s next victim was my oldest son.  Like me, he disappeared into bed on a Monday and didn’t emerge until the following Sunday.  Ryan didn’t ask for much while he was sick, and when he did, he would text me with his request.  This was actually a fabulous system, eliminating the need for me to climb the stairs 400 times per day to check on him only to find that he was always sleeping.  


His texts were concise and to-the-point:
           
           
            “Can I have cough drops?”


“Can I have tea?”  


“Can I have toast?”


“When will this end?”


As soon as Ryan felt better, the flu hit my middle son, Matt, who is still sick as I write this.  Taking care of him has proved to be much more challenging than the other two.  For starters, he refuses to accept that food just doesn’t taste good.  He keeps asking for different things, hoping that one of them will be palatable, and his requests are much more specific:


            “Can you stop at the store and get me some beef stew?”


            “Can I have a glass of water with ice cubes and a bendy straw?”


            “Can I have strawberries and some other kinds of fruit on a plate?”


            “Can you bring me some scrambled eggs, ice cream, cough syrup, and grapes?”


Honestly, if he weren’t obviously sick in bed, I might begin to suspect pregnancy.


While Matt is still trying to feel better, Ryan and Evan and I have discovered that this flu leaves behind a brutal, annoying cough.  People probably won’t want to invite you to the movies, but sounding as if you’re about to cough up a lung does a great job of chasing away hovering bosses and chatty co-workers.


Want to try some Flu2014 for yourself?  The kids and I and our germs will be right over.  


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