Whether you're excited
about it or not, you have to admit that news about Kate Middleton and Prince
William's baby is everywhere. In spite of all the buzz about the royal birth,
people I talk to tell me that they fail to see the relevance of “just another celebrity
baby."
I think these folks are
mistaken. This baby is much more than “just another celebrity.” Aside from the
fact that he has the potential to grow up and rule a large portion of the
world, his birth is significant for another reason: the lovely Duchess of
Cambridge will be able to learn what us regular moms have known all along.
Babies are unbelievably
messy.
No doubt the royal
family has a nanny to help with the baby care, but there are still going to be
times when Kate will be engaged in caring for her child all by herself. In at
least one of those moments, you know she will be hit with a stream of pee from
her infant son, most likely when she’s either half asleep or dressed up and
ready to go out. This happens so often that I’m convinced babies plan it that
way, as if it’s a mandatory instruction written on their Y chromosomes. And
royal or not, pee is pee. It won’t take Kate long to realize that she’s got to
keep those baby bits under wraps unless she wants to receive a surprise shower.
Even though you and I
will never see the photos, you just know that at some point, her wee little
prince is going to smear her face with strained bananas or pureed peas and
projectile vomit all over her hair. She’s going to wake up one day, fix her
hair and her face and think she looks pretty fine. Five minutes later, that
little bugger is going to ruin it all with one sticky baby hand or a tiny but
mighty gas bubble.
We probably won’t see
the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep either, but my fellow moms
and I will know that they’re there. Even if she has the nanny take the night
shift, eventually the baby is going to be sick or teething or anxious and she
will selflessly give up her own sleep to comfort him. What she won’t realize at
first is that the lack of sleep thing will continue until the kids move out.
Gone forever are the nights of deep, restful,
gonna-take-a-stick-of-dynamite-to-wake-me-up sleep. When you’re responsible for
another human being, you tend to sleep a lot lighter.
Then there’s the whole
attention thing. Before Baby, Kate was the one upon whom everyone’s attention
was focused. Even Prince William has been completely upstaged by his wife. Now,
even beautiful and stylish Kate will be shoved out of the way by relatives and
strangers alike, all hoping to catch a glimpse of the new babe.
While I feel a certain
glee in knowing that Kate is going to experience the less-than-pleasant side of
baby-rearing, I’m happy that she’ll also be able to experience its joys. For
example, I know that she’s going to fall fiercely in love with that little boy.
His pain will become hers, and his joy will be multiplied when viewed through
her eyes. She will be, at all times, utterly exhausted and yet completely
revitalized by this tiny little person now sharing her life. She will have
moments of feeling as if she’s the worst mother ever and then much rarer
moments of feeling as if she’s finally figured it all out. And just like
mothers everywhere, she will worry that all of those moments are passing much
too quickly. She will wonder if she’s done enough.
In just a short while,
she will intimately know what it feels like to be someone’s mother, and she
will be forever changed by that role.
Just like the rest of
us.
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