Sweet! Lookie what I found in my email today. It seems that forwarding all of those email chain letters and praying those novenas to St. Theresa have finally paid off. I'm going to be rich:
October 21, 2010
Hello,
As you know, My name is Dr. Ben S. Bernanke, Chairman, Federal Reserve System, U.S.A. However, i am blissful to inform you that the contract panel held at the white house yesterday just released your name as one of the unpaid inheritance fund. This panel was primarily delegated to investigate manipulated contract claims, and overdue inheritance payment. Note that after the meeting held with president Barrack Obama, office of the senate house and U.S. secretary of the states, Hillary Rodham Clinton, we came to a conclusion that your long awaiting inheritance funds worth the sum of ten million, five hundred united states dollars only must be released to you.
Moreover, i wish to notify you that your long awaiting inheritance funds have been gazetted to be released to you via telegraphic transfer. But a man came to my office few days ago claiming to be your representative. Below are the personal and banking details he provided. Please confirm the authenticity of this information before we proceed.
Full name Jose Hernandez
Full address 466 lily st mansfield ohio
Direct/cell phone 419-001-8000
Fax # n/a
Current occupation capenter
Marital status divorced, age 65
Bank name: JPmorgan chase bank, NA
Bank address: 603-613 maccorkle avenue, St albns, wv 25177
Account # 857250091
Routing # 051900842
Name on the account Jose Hernandez
However, we shall proceed to issue all payments details to Mr. Jose Hernandez if we do not hear from you within the next seven (7) working days. If he is not your representative or sent by you, then you are advised to furnish me with the below details. Also be informed that he will be jailed false personification, grand theft, invasion of privacy & identity theft.
(1) Full name
(2) Full address
(3) Direct/cell phone
(4) Fax #
(5) Current occupation
(6) Marital status divorced, age
(7) Bank name:
(8) Bank address:
(9) Account #
(10) Routing #
(11) Swift code
(12) Name on the account
(13) Drivers license or work i.d
I am eagerly awaiting your timely response with the above requested details.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Ben S. Bernanke
Chairman, Federal Reserve System, U.S.A
I must say that I'm a bit surprised that Ben Bernanke sends his own email and that his shift key is apparently broken. Maybe he uses those lower case i's because he's such a humble guy who just wants to give millions of dollars to deserving people. Yeah, that must be it.
He's probably in such a hurry, from being such a busy man, that he didn't have time to spell out the full name of the city in which Chase Bank is located. Thankfully he included the zip code or I'd be screwed in trying to locate my money. Phew! Praise Jesus for zip codes.
Ben apparently doesn't have time to use the return key, either. You totally rock, Ben, but your email would be much easier to read if it had some white space in it. Just sayin'.
I can't believe that he and Hillary Rodham Clinton work together on unclaimed inheritance cases. I guess when Hillary isn't trying to achieve world peace, she plays matchmaker with unclaimed funds. Take that, all of you Hillary haters.
I'd better hurry up and send my information to Ben Bernanke so he doesn't give my inheritance away to Jose Hernandez. Those carpenters can be shifty, you know.
I'll send postcards from my new mansion in Aruba as soon as I get settled.
XOXO
Lisa
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