She came from a trailer park; one of ten puppies born to an unusually large but shy white female miniature schnauzer and an unusually small but personable male miniature schnauzer. Mama wanted nothing to do with anyone. Papa would have gone home with anyone who gave him a pat on the head.
I shouldn’t have been there. It had only been a week since I had to make the painful decision to put my best four-legged friend to sleep. Clearly I was too vulnerable. Still, I missed having a dog so much. The house was too quiet, the yard too empty. How could I possibly walk away? The conditions into which these puppies were born were awful. I could at least provide a much-needed home to one of them.
All of the puppies seemed shy when my husband, three kids, and I approached the wooden box in which they were corralled. The kids gently, slowly, extended their hands toward the puppies. The puppies ran to the other side of the box. Only one puppy remained; a little girl with a wide black stripe on her back. I picked her up and placed my hand on her head to pet her. She arched back into my hand as if to say, “Again! Again!”
We passed her around among us and she enjoyed everyone’s attention. After playing with her for awhile, the kids pleaded at me with their eyes. This was the one.
We paid the woman who owned them and got into the car for our long drive home. Everyone took turns suggesting then discounting names for her before finally deciding on “Shelby.” She looks like a Shelby, we reasoned. Plus, it was the name of my husband’s dream car. Perfect! Shelby didn’t seem to care what we called her. She curled up and slept on my lap the whole way home.
The The first two weeks at home were great. We puppy-proofed and trained and Shelby played and peed and pooped. Things were working out well. She was so smart. Each day brought her closer to being the ideal dog for us.
I
I took her to the vet for her next round of puppy shots. She had to get an awful lot of shots at once: rabies, distemper, lyme disease, and two others that I can’t remember. So many shots for a six-pound puppy. She wasn’t fond of the shots but seemed to get over the experience as soon as we left the examining room. The vet said that she thought I’d chosen a great puppy.
A week or so later, we were having a birthday party for my middle son. His best friend and his mom arrived. The mom has a very loud voice so there was no doubt that she’d arrived, even before she opened back door and let herself in.
I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Shelby ran toward the woman, growling and barking as if to drive her back out the door. I couldn’t believe that a tiny puppy of only 12 weeks was behaving this way. I instinctively picked her up and tried to calm her but she growled even more. Only later would I learn that instead of calming her, I was reinforcing the aggressive behavior.
After a few weeks of Shelby barking, growling, and lunging at people who came to our home, I called the veterinarian about it. “Fear aggression” was the label. She could be trained to manage it but she would never be a friendly dog. Professional training was suggested, along with the possibility of medication in the future, and I was given a phone number to call.
When I spoke with the dog trainer, she advised that I should simply return the dog to the breeder. Return the dog? To the deplorable conditions from which I rescued her? To me, that wasn’t an option. I wanted this dog FIXED. Isn’t that possible if I simply love her enough? The trainer agreed to see if she could help.
At our first session, the trainer took a detailed history of Shelby. When I told her about the visit to the veterinary hospital for shots, she stopped her note taking. She went to her desk to retrieve some papers. “Here, look at this,” she said as she handed me a photocopied article. “It’s somewhat controversial, but a growing number of dog experts are discovering that vaccinations given too early and in combination with other vaccinations are causing the development of fear aggression in dogs.” Evidently, the quantity of the vaccines, given too soon, in combination with a genetic tendency toward shyness, caused our dog to be irreparably broken.
“Will it go away?” I asked, already knowing the answer in my heart.
“No.”
What do you do when you learn that a dog you’ve chosen and committed to love for its whole life is damaged? Broken? Unfixable? Dogs are supposed to be friendly and love people, not fear them and try to chase them away. Who on earth could love a dog like this?
I couldn’t accept this reality. I decided that I would work with her to overcome her shyness and fear of people. I would correct her when she growled. I would praise her good behavior. Whatever it takes. We would get through this. I would fix her.
Shelby is now 19 months old. In spite of my training, she still does not like any people other than my immediate family. We can’t have her unleashed or uncrated when someone comes to the door. We have to instruct visitors to not make eye contact with her until she approaches them. She’ll always require sedation when going to the vet. We’ll never be able to take her to the dog park and she certainly will never be service-dog material. She’ll always be fearful and will need to be managed when other people are around until she gets used to them. A certain routine must be followed which requires a lot of time, patience, and my full concentration.
When she’s home with us, she’s a great companion in every way. Her large expressive ears are like her own personal sign language and she never fails to get her message across by using them. She loves her squeaky toys and has learned how to put them on the couch and then sit perfectly so that we’ll throw them for her. She knows when the school bus is due to arrive and waits by the door for the kids. She might not like strangers, but she’s never even nipped at my boys, even if they pick her up in awkward ways. She follows me around the house and sleeps on the stairs while I work at the computer. She’s learned to throw her own ball so that she can play by herself when we’re busy. She refuses to let me sit on the couch alone. In Shelby’s mind, it’s her job to keep my lap warm and she never lets me sit without being right there, ready to take her position. She even catches spiders and thousand-leggers so I don’t have to.
I will never be able to convince others to see the good in Shelby. A bark, a growl, or a lunge will cause them to form an unfavorable opinion in spite of what I say. But we see the good in her and we love her. Even if she’ll never be society’s version of an ideal dog, she’s our dog, and maybe that’s good enough.
Here are a few of his snippets:
On the VP debate -
"why do people in political campaigns always use awkward metaphors?"
"Joe Biden kinda looks like a Republican, doesn't he?"
On people, I'm right there with ya. I have two whole posts up right now on Loving Republicans in response to the Open Call.
This is what my son came out with a few days ago. I'm not even sure it's appropriate to share this, but he's six, what can I say?
"Mom, do you know why I like Barack Obama?"
"No, why?"
"Because he's black, and I like black people."
"Oh!"
Then, in a whisper: "Well, really he's brown, but we're not supposed to say that."
Ha! What do you say to that? :D
Lisa - I love your 9 yr old! Any child who can recognize an awkward metaphor gets high praise from me.
Marple - Your son's comment had tears coming out of my eyes from laughing so hard. Thanks so much for sharing it!
I love kids!
The other day, we were out walking, and my daughter saw an Obama sign in someone's yard.
Suzie: Mommy, look. Those people are McCain voters.
Joey: No, Suzie, that's an Obama sign. See? O-Bama. It begins with an O. McCain begins with an M. MMM-Cain.
Suzie: O'Cain?
I thought Joey's head was going to explode. But a few minutes later, he asked, "Mommy, is Mr. McCain that lady's grandpa?"
Me: What lady? Mrs. Palin?
Joey: Yes. He's her grandpa, right?
I just smiled and told him no.
Oh, the times they are a changin'. My dad - A former Reagan Democrat turned independent - is "considering voting for Obama."
Amy - it sure is easy to get caught in the partisanship. The great thing about kids is they have such a fresh way of looking at things.
Meredith - that is too funny about "Aunt Hilary". Too bad that the whole thing with Spider Man didn't work out. We'd probably be in much better shape right about now!
Angrymom - With kids ages 2 and 5, I'll bet you have an absolute ton of things to write about. Those younger years are the best.
Christian - thank you so much for such a lovely comment! I do hope that one of these days our country can get back to being united instead of divided.
Annie - you're a much better mom than I am. I wouldn't have been able to resist the grandpa question.
Mary - One thing that separates Obama from politicians in the past is how he's been able to engage youth in politics. How wonderful that the 11 year old you spoke of was so involved. All that my kids do is make commentary!
Diana - I am seeing quite a few life-long, hard-line Republicans switching sides this election. All we needed was 8 miserable years, I suppose.
Lisa - Thank you so much! No one was more surprised than I to see my post on the cover, but I'm very grateful regardless. :o)
On the other hand did anyone hear what Howard Stern did on his show a few days ago? One of his people when out on the street and asked people who they were going to vote for. 3 of the 4 said Obama. He asked them why and listened to their answer. He then used the positions of the other person and asked them if they supported him because of A or B, both of which belonged to the other person. He then asked them if they thought the pick of (the other persons VP choice) was a good pick and would they make a good VP. Yup, they liked the wrong VP choice as VP.
It was a funny skit until you realize these people sounded like they might actually vote.
From the kids, I understand and educate, but what do you do when grown people are that (insert your favorite term here)?
Scruffus - Thank you so much!
TimidView - I agree that the additional snippets that people have posted in the comments are wonderful. Maybe if we keep tuning in to the kids during this election, we'll end up on the other side with some modicum of sanity remaining. Good for you for hugging grandma.
catnlion - I did not hear Howard Stern but I know what you are saying. They are probably the same people who truly believe that Obama is a terrorist.
I really hate people like that. It almost makes you want some sort of a poll test, but that has more problems than it would solve, but they scare me.
There is no way on God's green earth that I would vote for Obama, but that is based on my beliefs and his statements. That should be the on things that makes you decide who to vote for.
While he has some "friends" who are terrorist, and he had a racist preacher I don't see where that should be part of the decision process unless he actively took part or supported their activities. I know I'll never be able to run for office if that is part of the decision process of people. I know I have some "friends" who are out there and I'm sure if you took an inventory of your friends over the last 30 years, you will have a couple also.
BTW, he's not a muslim either.