Wednesday, July 23, 2014

You're Never Too Old to Forget Something New

(Mewcifer, helping me study)


Recently, I've been studying for an exam that my employer wants me to take for my job.  Passing it is entirely optional unless I prefer to remain employed.

So I gathered my five remaining brain cells together - you know, the ones not busy keeping track of kids, pets, and car keys - and began studying.
 
Reading the information was fine, even with the subject matter being a bit on the tedious side.  Still, I put in the required number of reading hours and thought all was well.

My problems began when I attempted to actually recall what I'd read.  As I finished each chapter and took the practice quizzes at the end, it became clear exactly how much of what I'd read just wasn't sticking in my brain.
 
Funny thing - remembering stuff is pretty critical to passing an exam.

Considering I'm as old the invention of the ZIP code, my learning-stuff-to-pass-an-exam days are far behind me.  Combine that with the fact that you lose a quarter of your brain cells in childbirth*and it's easy to see why I'm struggling.  I've had three kids, so doing the math tells me there's very little left in the way of brain capacity to work with.
 
Yet here I am, trying to make the same demands on my brain that I did when I was twenty.  No wonder it laughs at me:  "You want me to juggle your life AND learn something new?  At the same time?  NOT GONNA HAPPEN." 

This is the same insolent brain that allows me to walk into a room without actually clueing me in as to  why I felt compelled to walk in there in the first place.  My mind can be a real jerk at times.

To have any hope of passing this exam, I knew I needed some new strategies - ones that don't rely on memorization.

I decided to increase the number of hours I sleep each night.  I figure it can't hurt, and maybe my brain will be a little more accommodating if it's not always sleep-deprived.
 
Next, I'm trying to read more carefully.  In this age of information overload, it's easy to fall into the habit of skimming content instead of reading it.  It's kind of like how you listen to every word your spouse says for the first five years of marriage, and then after that, you're lucky if you catch the fourth or fifth sentence.

My youngest son suggested that I highlight the critical words in each question (such as "is NOT correct," "is true EXCEPT") so that I don't miss them.  Looking over my incorrect answers on the quizzes revealed that skipping over those words is indeed something I've been doing.

What really seems to be making a difference is that I've also begun relating each concept I'm studying to something I already know.  I didn't make it this far in life without experiencing a ton of things, so why not put that hard-earned wisdom to work?
 
Can't remember the elements of a contract?  I'll just think back to that rock climbing participation agreement  I had to sign so Evan could go with his class.  Not sure I can recall how loss assessment coverage works?  Thinking about the Hurricane Sandy damage at my mom's condominium will certainly jog my memory.
 
My five brain cells and I are going to rock this thing.  We may not be twenty anymore, but we are wise, mighty, and determined.  And that's even better.

*OK, I totally made up that childbirth thing, but it sure feels that way!

Monday, July 7, 2014

The Early Bird Catches the Teenager

(Yes, there is a kid under there.)


Recently, our family took a break from our responsibilities and headed to the shore for the day.  Having to wake up teenagers reminded me of how I'd rather do just about anything else.  Getting five people up, showered, and out the door by a certain time is no easy feat.

Actually, only four of us have trouble waking up.  My husband is a morning person, though technically he wakes up so early that it would still be considered night by the sane among us.  By the time I stumble downstairs, eager to plant my face in a hot cup of coffee, he is already well-caffeinated and ridiculously perky.   

I don't handle "perky" well on a good day, let alone first thing in the morning while I'm still trying to unglue my eyelids.  The only reason I haven't stabbed him yet is because he moves faster than I do.  One of these days, I'm going to switch all the coffee in the house to decaf so that I have a chance of catching him.

It wouldn't be so bad if he kept quiet and stayed out of my way for, say, three or four hours while I wake up.  Instead, he hits me with questions the moment I come downstairs.  Have I seen his shoes/camera/keys?  How much money is in the bank account?  Did I remind (insert child of choice here) about (insert forgotten chore here)?  I don't know why he can't just write this stuff down on a note so that I can properly ignore it until I've had a chance to wake up.

The kids, on the other hand, are not perky at all.  On the Perky/Dead continuum, they are somewhere around Comatose.  They sleep so soundly that I'm tempted to stick spoons under their noses to see if they're still breathing.  If I can manage to rouse them at all, they will lie and tell me whatever is most likely to make me go away.  Thirty minutes later, I realize that the child who promised he was getting up and in the shower is still in his bed, sound asleep.  Believe me, no one feels more homicidal than a mom who has to start the wake-up routine all over again.

While getting ready for our shore trip, I realized that I've been doing this waking-up business all wrong.  Why should I be the one to wake up the kids when Mr. Perkypants has been up and fully conscious for hours?
 
My kids think that I'm annoying when I wake them up.  Muahahaha!  They have no idea how annoying their well-rested and super-caffeinated father can be.

I can't wait to see how this goes.  It may actually be worth getting up for.